Misogyny in the Gaming Sphere: Exploring Geek Masculinity and the Incel Complex
Often, when women express interest in stereotypically male/ masculine activities, they are badgered with multiple questions and tests to prove their knowledge and/or expertise in the field. To some these are innocent questions, but having experienced this ritual frequently, I can confidently say they are not. Especially in gaming.
I’ve never necessarily felt welcome in expressing my love for video games. If my gaming interests were not overly questioned, then they were trivialized for not being “hardcore” enough. On the other hand, if my interests weren’t being queried, then my status as a woman was suddenly elevated, and other girls were to follow in my footsteps. Whether these men want to acknowledge it or not, their utter disregard for the legitimacy of “feminine” interests is misogyny, and this misogyny, often present in the gaming sphere, is especially sinister.
Although the glaring misogyny in the gaming sphere has always been clear to me, the violence accompanying it was not. Misogyny in the gaming sphere often means far more than hating or doubting women. It encapsulates a personal and blazing resentment. My question is, why has this community retained, and spawned, men with a strong and violent disdain for women?
The Geek
The complete abhorrence and aversion of the female presence in the gaming community often accompanies certain identities. Many of us would be familiar with these identities, as those that embody them are often referred to as “nerds” or “geeks”. These men display a variance of masculinity characterized by the savviness of technology and video games, termed “geek masculinity”. Geek masculinity tends to disavow stereotypically masculine interests and traits, making those who ascribe to this identity tend to feel marginal, as they usually lack in what society would consider “manly.” Despite this perceived marginality and lack, it still upholds patriarchal values of female ineptitude and male superiority.
The Incel Complex
While the validity of gaming as a culture is not one to be dismissed, the violent gatekeeping of this activity is questionable. Apart from the earlier mentioned rituals I’ve undergone from male gamers being a clear indicator of misogyny, it also exposed an underlying insecurity. You see, to these men, gaming is a culture, and those who are interested are simply trespassing. This feeling of intrusion introduces us to the incel. An incel, “involuntary celibate”, is a person (usually male), who can’t seem to find a romantic or sexual partner despite desiring one. While to many this may seem like a harmless “loser” trope, it is far more harmful than it seems at face value. They apportion blame to society, usually women, for this inability to find a partner.
The gaming community is full of men who feel they have missed out on their patriarchal birthright: women. For them, their lack of stereotypical masculine traits has placed them in the lowest position of the patriarchal hierarchy and has robbed them of the patriarchal rights they have supposedly missed out on. In this lack, a community has been formed: one that basks in their shared experiences of rejection and loathing for their “rejectors”. The reaction to this societal “rejection” ranges from joining violent internet forums and spewing bigotry, to outright violence.
Though the face of this violence is commonly white men, I’ve intentionally disregarded race in this conversation. This isn’t to suggest that a lot of the violence in the gaming community isn’t rooted in white supremacy, or that I’m not aware of Elliot Rodger or Alex Minassian. This is because black men can be (are) incels too, and my experience with these men has been a Nigerian one. But more importantly, this is to show that every man probably has an incel complex– whether they’ve been “laid” or not.
You might say these men being laid completely negates their ability to display incel traits but actually, it doesn’t. Incel culture isn’t (only) about not being able to get laid, it’s about domination and subordination, a universal characteristic in patriarchy and patriarchal privileges.
You might say these men being laid completely negates their ability to display incel traits but actually, it doesn’t. Incel culture isn’t (only) about not being able to get laid, it’s about domination and subordination, a universal characteristic in patriarchy and patriarchal privileges.
Like geek masculinity, the incel complex is one that boasts of marginality. It incorporates many forms of misogyny, and characteristics. These include “the good guy”, who views his acts of basic human decency as some kind of ignored heroism; geek masculinity, an identity that (often) personalizes the supposed emasculation of their interests, and finally, patriarchy. All characteristics punish women for not being able to see the “good” in them.
In this lack, a community has been formed: one that basks in their shared experiences of rejection and loathing for their “rejectors”.
This is why when women, their “rejectors”, show interest in “their” interests, they’re immediately defensive. Either they perform the ritual or they resort to over praising the woman, because, as previously stated before, the legitimacy of feminine interests is not regarded, so taking on “masculine” interests means you’ve scored big points.
Some may see gaming as shelter for these men, but it isn’t. The gaming industry has directly backed their delusion by their obvious underrepresentation of women. Female characters always took on decorative roles that did nothing but boost male ego. Either women served as over sexualized background imagery, or they played the damsel-in-distress; roles that did not suggest humanization or agency. Although improvements in the gaming industry have been made, the damage that patriarchy and decades of misogyny has done is irreversible. The internalization of this devaluation of women fuels the collective loser syndrome present in the community.
One may call these men victims of circumstance, as their interests have often been labeled “odd”, and their inability to “get laid” has been attributed to their lack of hegemonically masculine traits. But they are nothing more than delusional bigots, whose narcissism has been coddled for too long.
This is my first (published) Medium article and I am very proud of myself for actually finishing it. As I type this, I am struggling to not upload it, but I know I will. Because I like my (very right) opinions. :) Hopefully, I write and publish more.
If you’d like to see more from me, follow my art page on Instagram, @irimzay.
Also, excuse my use of the picture of white wojaks, despite my essay “disregarding” race. But they were especially fitting for this essay, and to be frank a lot of these guys look alike lol.
