Drop the mask, your head. Turn in. Feel your chest collapse into itself. Let your chin meet your aching chest. Rest. It may feel like your very will to live is at stake, drop that as well, if only for a moment. Contort your face. Melt into the feeling. Soften. Let go. Surrender.
Meet the darkness, let it engulf you. Fall to the floor. Curl your limbs fetal. There is no need to struggle. There is no point in fighting it. This is a fight you cannot win. Let that knowledge calm your troubled mind. Stop. Feel. Release. Breathe.
In this space, the darkness rises up to meet you. Let go. Your resistance is no more, courage isn’t something you need to muster. You can no longer muster anything; it’s all been released. So you dance with darkness, explore its depth and edges.
Is this all that life is? Is this what I spent my time running from?
Feel as your muscles release their tension. Soften. Release more. Notice as you melt into the earth, sinking lower than you thought you could. Surrender.
Is this what I imagined?
As your consciousness takes in your surroundings: the darkness below the earth, the rock below the bottom, the comfort in the retreat, sensations challenge expectations…
The bottom is firm, but not cold, inviting. It’s solidity rises up to meet the blank space between it and your vulnerable edges, like green moss rising up to pad the jagged bones, your skin protruding.
Held. Loved. Fierce.
The Divine Mother is present.
This is what I fought hard and resisted all along?
Here I meet the Divine Mother.
All is well.
This could be home. Stay here a while.