10 things I do every time I speak.
My sister used to laugh at me when I speak. I think my grandmother also. I think my brother also ( my sister's son. ) I think my uncle. I don't want to say my family because that's a lie. My mom never laughed at me. It is true you must forgive your enemies but never their names. Huh! Did you say your family is your enemies? I didn't. I just said what other people say. Family is a curse you cannot choose. I have a great family but I didn't choose it. This is about speaking not my family. I almost forgot.
People always ask me the TIPS I use when I speak. Or how long have I been speaking. I don't know. I can only guess. I have been speaking all my life ( I think since high school.) I think church helped me a lot. So I owe the church some credit. Thanks Mom for taking me to church ( now I go alone. What an improvement!) It is weird. I started at the back sitting at church then danced, then joined the signing choir then played the keyboard then I had the privilege to share the pulpit with some great man of God. Pulpit is scary. Until God decides otherwise, I'm fine with my podium. There is a reason we have a podium then pulpit.
Did I say 10 ten things? Let's see. I feel like justifying now and give five things.
I. I prepare : This seems easy but every time I speak I have to prepare. I can't assume that I know what I am going to talk about although I know. I want my message to be fresh and impactful. I have to get as many jokes as possible and as many illustrations as possible.
II. Me TOO: I always try to get people to 'say me too.' People judge you a lot if you try to outshine them. We as people want people like us. If people are not like us we reject them. Questions work better - How many of you have never seen me before? I raise my hand to get people to be comfortable.
III. I tell stories: People understand any kind of message because they have a story linked to it. We have a story about anything. Hence, we have opinions about anything. Stories glues people to their chairs. Facts and numbers gets people bored.
IV. I make eye contact: Eye contact is the contact you need to pass the message like cellphone contact number. It enables you to change gears and to read your audience - are they sleeping? Are they getting bored? Are they getting the message?
V. I ask questions: once you create a rapport ( friendship or likability) it is easy to get people to answer questions. Sometimes people look at you. I challenge them. 'Come guys' I will say. While looking on their eyes then I will pick up one person who wants to ask but they are scared - being embarrassed.
VI. I give logic and reason: You have to give a thesis about what you are about to talk about and why you want to talk about and why are you suitable to talk about it. I call it ploughing the field. ( I do this after getting people to say 'me too')
VII. I confess: Sometimes I deal with the problem which I had so I have to confess that I had the problem and how I overcame it or I can use another people ( third party) to confess - A friend of mine used to and he...to cure the problem.
VIII. I give solutions: I always have too much solutions than the problem I have attacked. I don't want to be stuck. More is better.
V. Get people to say what you taught: If you teach something it yours but if you ask people to say it you share it. Usually don't ask people to repeat difficult statements.
IX. The ten minutes rule: After ten minutes people get bored. I have to change gears. I throw a story or stats or a qoute. I learn from comedians. Comedian are the best public speakers.
X. I move around ( purposefully): People get bored to gaze at one object for a long period of time. But movement without purpose is boring also. So I try to move around and try different angles to communicate. Sometimes I climb a chair, or a table. People don't expect me, so it changes the energy in the room.
There is a lot that I do but as people like to say, " on a nutshell."