This was brilliant! and you described me in most of my early social interactions. I am much better now, but every once in a while I get a glimpse of that old shy person I used to be, and back to my cocoon I go! I wrote a blog post called “embracing my weird-self” a couple of weeks ago where I talk about accepting myself as I am while I work on becoming who I want to be. Your story reminded me of me :)
Oh, please keep writing!