Pick up your life and let’s go

I decided to write to see if it calms me down, to see if I can start putting things in place before I make myself ill or go insane.

I had been dating my sweet british boyfriend, here in Rio, for about two years when we found out his dad was very ill. Like “every” british man he dealt with it sternly and seriously while I, the brazilian drama queen, went crazy and kept insisting we should move to the UK to be with his family.

Yeah, not an easy decision to make, right? We have a beautiful home, successful careers, a dog and a very warm and delicious style of life. Fast forward a couple of months and here we are now, still in Rio, but now married and fully packed to move to the other side of the world in excatly a month! July 23rd my flight leaves from Antonio Carlos Jobim Airport, headed to the North of England.

And here I am, I just took five days off work last week because I could not get out of bed, I was feeling so sick and so much nausea that staying in bed watching Netflix was NOT fun. After 3 hours in the hospital and after many tubes of blood and exposure to radiation I found out I have… nothing!

I guess thinking about how your whole life will fit into two 32kg suitcases, one 23kg and a hand luggage is not nothing. Panicking about how your dog, your companion (even before you met mr cute), your baby will arrive in the UK after travelling 12 hours in live cargo is not nothing. And imagining living in a totally different place, with different people, different weather, a different culture AND without a job prospect is not nothing!

I do envision a possibly beautiful (cold) future for the three of us, though it is still quite difficult to see it loud and clear cause there’s still so much to deal with. And everytime I think I won’t make it and I might lose my mind, I stop and try to recall why.

Why am I doing this? And then it all becomes crystal clear (and calm), and I take a sip of water, kiss my dog and try to pack a few more things before my next student arrives.