A particularly odd week

Its…something

Dont know why I decided to write this now but, if not now when right? Everything seems odd lately, havent been able to catch up to deadlines as much as I did the past quarter, whats funny is, I am so caught up in overthinking when I am really thinking about nothing, its like life turned black and white, bland and gray and your mind just keeps blanking out.

School was good, no problems to encounter, a few thoughts about a certain person still bug me, maybe im just a stubborn fool, ive been blocking everything out by playing, but even the games I used to play lost its magic, so to speak, cant seem to shake it off, when will I start to finally forget.*sigh* this is part of growing up I guess, its just that nagging feeling in your chest, having difficulty focusing and my train of thoughts are on high gear, and then you suddenly shut down, its like being sleepy but youre not. Annoying really theres still so much time left and it seems like its a part of me now.

So its gonna be my birthday this thursday, not even sure what I want to do, just eat out or something, and as always she’s gonna be gone for another week, which sucks, real bad. Cant blame her I guess, cant imagine the tons of stuff she has to put up with, wish she would atleast visit, maybe she forgot? Who knows, she would atleast remember to greet me.

Growing seems scarier than I initially thought, everything is on a whole other level, everything needs to be considered, to be thought out or else it’ll all fall apart, everything seems like a chore, I damn wish I never grow up, but if I dont, ill get left out, dilemmas, dilemmas.