Thoughts from the rain
With each drop, a thought
Drops of water hit the roof, I wake up to the soothing sound of rain fall, a cold breeze surrounds me, a cold thought ensues me, I wonder how you’re doing, id love to hear from you, for once, I feel life on my own, it has its ups and downs, but sometimes I still think of you.
The skies turn grey, the clouds heavy, a light drizzle falls, and droplets race down the window, distractions become my new motivation, to forget is not a goal, to endure is, light turns heavy, visibility turns hazy, bigger droplets fall, I shoulder it all, “I made it worse”, “You shouldve shut your mouth”, “You broke your promise” confusing thoughts add, “If he really loved you he wouldn’t have let you go”, “There are plenty more out there”, “Its how things are supposed to go”, a voice replies, “What we had was special”, “We just need some time apart”, “I really loved him, I didnt want him to go”. I close my eyes, breathe in the lemon scented air, look up the drivers seat, “5 minutes to drop off”, this is my stop.
I sit impatiently, waiting for a message, a reply, a sign, a sliver of hope, “Its not coming you know, stop hoping” I thought, “You never know, its never too late you know” I say to myself, “How long are you gonna keep this up?” I reply, “I just need to wait”. The sky flashes, cracks in the dark, light seeps through, “Its just lightning” I tell myself, “…but wheres the rain?”, I hear crackles, rumbles and deafening booms, “Its a nice evening”, “Is it really?” I reply, “What do you know about nice evenings?”, “Not much I guess”, “Have you fed the dogs?”, “Oh shoot. Not yet”. Bark, bark, bark, jumping up and down, waggling their tails left to right, lighting strikes, they cower, “Silly dogs, its just lightning”
Are you hurt? I wonder “Of course he is, you darn drove him off”, I reply “I was hurt too you know, but I didnt think id turn out like this”, “Next time think before you say shit”, tick, tock, tick, music would be nice, “Youre just asking for it” , I reply “I like to take some time being sad”, “Keep telling yourself that”
Pasensiya ka na sa mga kathang isip kong ito, wari’y dala lang ng pagmamahal sayo, ako’y gigising na sa panaginip kong ito, at sa wakas kusang lalayo sayo
Head swarmed, thoughts, memories, dreams, nightmares alike, “Told you so, you never listen to me”, I reply “Why would I listen to you?”, “You never listen to anyone”.
