Torn apart

I always knew this was gonna happen eventually, it tears me apart that it didnt even last long, but only for 2 short months. I thought everything was gonna be alright at that moment, I thought I could feel what it felt being loved like that, before of all this I was already haunted by the thoughts that I was gonna lose this person, now that I have, It feels like my chest has been filled with weights.

There are moments that I just want to fade away from this world, disappear and just watch them from afar, or cease to exist at all, im useless when im like this, sad, pathetic, lonely, and stupid. I cant sleep, I cant even breathe properly, thoughts swarm around me, and I feel like im slowly being consumed, I wish I didnt say anything in the first place, it couldve all been avoided, but instead im stuck here, crying my eyes out everynight, trying to distract myself of this whole situation, I wish the ground could just swallow me up.

Melatonin, my only true friend, help me get some sleep.