Depression is weird.

A brief example of how weird depression can be — from my own experience.

I’ve had depression, probably twice but does it ever really go?

Anyway, this example happened years ago when I was a postman. We were living in a tiny studio flat — the only thing we could afford—and we had one child at the time.

I would wake up around 5am, get dressed in my uniform, and then pace the room.

I couldn’t leave!

How weird is that?! It sounds ridiculous but that’s exactly how it went—pacing the room in my uniform with my mailbag over my shoulder—until I eventually had to call in with some excuse. I occasionally got to the communal hallway and even to work sometimes—but this happened more than once.

I still have the odd black dog day but thankfully, so far, I’m ok.

Aside: I penned a tweet the other day which is something I heard many times:

‘You can’t be depressed, whenever I see you, you’re smiling and happy & fine.’ —https://twitter.com/isemann/status/499103234292989953

Duh, you don’t see me when I’m hiding in that big, black hole. You probably don’t see me posting on Twitter either. And if you do see me because modern life has a habit of dragging you out, well, like a lot of depressed people, I put on a very good front. Like this —☺

So right now, I’m ok or putting on a good face. Either way, I thought I’d share how illogical and weird depression can be.

— this telling the world stuff is a big, scary thing for me. Be kind.

R!