Brought to you by the letter “C”

I answered the phone and a woman with kind voice introduced herself and asked if I was nearby. I told her that I was just looking for a parking spot. “Ok”, she said, “Come to the second floor.” A few seconds later she asked, “Have you parked?” I told her, “Yes, I just parked”. Then she said, “Ok, I’ll just wait for you. What are you wearing?” I told her, but that’s when I really started to worry. I was meeting my wife at the doctor’s office and the woman with the sweet voice was a nurse. She was being so kind. Too kind.

2016 has been a rough year for many, but honestly I was doing ok. At least I was for the first 10 months. For the second time in less than 30 days, I feel like the world as I know it has shifted in an irreversibly tragic way. That things today aren’t fundamentally different than they were yesterday, but still knowing that in January things are going to get really really shitty.

FUCK.

CANCER.

We found out that my wife has oral cancer. Within the next six weeks she will have surgery to remove the mass, along with some of the adjacent bones in her face. Well. Let me restate that. The left half of the roof of her mouth, along with the teeth on that side, some bone from beneath her eye, bone from her cheek and bone below her nose will all be removed. This isn’t to treat the cancer. This is prepare for the cancer treatment. So I’ll say it again.

FUCK CANCER!!!!!!!!!

This is devastating and overwhelming and I don’t know what to do or say and I spend half of the day in denial. Every time I say what’s happening I feel like the wind is being knocked out of me, so I’m saying here, with hopes that I don’t have to say it again. I don’t know what to do.

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