How gaming changed my perception of life and Human Relations
We’ve all been there-the gaming phase. Before the age of Xbox and PlayStation, gaming started off with those battery operated retro consoles, that played weird music and had bricks for game. Then came the wave of gaming cassettes. I for one remember being a sucker for those 100 in 1 cassettes, but ended up playing Super Mario the most. My gaming habits used to be so unhealthy, I remember ending up with deep dark circles and dents in my thumbs from those plastic controllers.
Back then, those cassettes used to be the only form of gaming I got. Growing up as a single child, these games turned out to be the best father-daughter bonding activity of my entire life. I still remember how I gave the controller to my dad because I was frustrated at Mario not completing the water level. I’m ashamed to completely admit the fact that, I on a personal level could never beat the boss, it was dad.
When Super Mario was done and dusted with, I had the thirst to play the other games too. Contra came second, I would not say it was bad. I still can’t figure out the actual motive behind the game, unlike SM, Contra took me to a whole different intergalactic journey.
Before fps’s like COD, there was Duck Hunt topped with an actual gun for a controller. The most frustrating game ever, partly because my controller kept getting stuck in the middle.
Growing up, those 100 in 1 cassettes used to be the only things I played, and that bothered my parents a little. It was pretty obvious. You’d not want your daughter breaking the general stereotypes and playing games that were limited to-boys. Of course, I had barbie dolls, and also had my share of the online dress up games as a kid. But I still found myself coming back to the games that were made for ‘boys’. Fast forward to 2011 or 2012, I started playing actual computer games, but still stayed somewhat limited to Final Fantasy and GTA. Fast forward to 2016, I’m playing Call of Duty, and by the time I reached 2017, I’m the only girl in a team of 12 playing almost regular COD matches online.
Gaming has always been an integral part of my life, not only did the stories fascinate me. I mean I legit got dreams about Vaas from Far Cry and I’ll not lie about it, it was scary. The stories, the characters made me feel somewhat invincible, when in reality I will actually run away at the sight of a cockroach.
I get judged a lot for something I enjoy and love doing- playing games, because like I mentioned before, it was meant for ‘BOYS’. I’m proud of myself for actually completing games, my female peers would rather steer clear from.
I don’t expect my parents to completely accept the fact that weekends are for gaming, and weekdays are for work. I also don’t expect them to suddenly stop judging my gaming circle for being too ‘Male Oriented’. It’s the people I like playing with, and as long as I am having fun in it, I don’t see the point of caring what others think.
“I don’t think without the existence of a few of the characters in the games I played, without their stories and how they fought their monsters-I would never have been able to fight my own.”
Gaming proved to be the best companion during those low phases of my life, when I had a hard time channelizing all those inbuilt anger. I still remember opening up my laptop, for a online match or a general story mode game every time I felt low, because I knew that by the time I was done with a 2-hour marathon I was going to smile and peacefully fall asleep.
I had my share of scary online server experiences, when I went head first into a random server just a week into playing online and got beaten up pretty bad. Well it was an experience nonetheless.
If I compare my SM and Contra self, to my online COD self today. There’s an obvious change in the way I deal with certain things in life, and in the way I interact with people in my life. Gaming, has been positive for me, always have and always will. Of course, sometimes I wish to keep the self somewhat hidden under the gamer name I hold (you really thought I’d tell the world my gamer name. lel.), but at the same time I do wish for the world to know that female gamer exist and gaming is not completely ‘Male Oriented’.