“What do you mean?” she lashed out punching the wall. Her clenched jaw and shaking hands gave a glimpse of the thunder she had been suppressing. Unfortunately, she was too nice to let the anger consume her. I wished, albeit I prayed for her to get upset, get angry, do something but her stupidity stops her from being furious and ends up making her pitiful. I hate that!
“But I did the best I could, and didn’t even complain.” she said to herself with her face stressed enough to suppress the tears. “How could he blame me? Haven’t I done enough?” She tried to justify herself, but her self doubts were way stronger. “Damn! who am I kidding? The right thing would have been to make the best out of whatever I had” she broke down saying that to herself. “I could have done better” — she kept repeating to herself while sobbing on her pillow.
> “Thr?” came the message concerned with the absence of a reply.
“Yeah, just went to washroom.” she lied.
> “ I am OK with whatever happened, like the world doesn’t end here. I hope you perform better next time.” He sent.
“Sure, I will.” she responded.
> “ I love you ❤”
“Love you too”
And she started smiling again, feeling proud to have dodged a bullet, not realizing that she just sold her self esteem. I don’t blame the guy, we all do blunders and sometimes end up blaming others for that. We are crazy and weird. Our defense mechanisms work in creepy ways. It’s her responsibility to teach others about how should she be treated. Stupid as she is, knows it very well but there’s a huge valley between her mount what-she-knows and mount what-she-does.