inevitable demise of craigslist personals! now what?

The Internets still buzzing “where is my craigslist's personals and what am i going to do now?”. It has been months since craigslist closed it personals section after the passage of a new law that would hold internet platforms civilly and criminally liable for acts deemed to be enabling human trafficking in sex. Any reasonable human being would applaud the act of making sure no one is a slave in the oldest profession in the world. And so would i, Now for the “but” in this cause and effect scenario. A scenario, i will warn you now, that may make my view controversial.

There were indeed many who used the personals section to solicit sexual favors in exchange for money, and then they were those looking to spice up their sexual relationships through the other listings of those same personals. I’m speaking of those like myself and my partner. The other alternative dating options that were available as part of those personals. Adding a third party, poly lifestyles or groups known as swingers and of course the LGBT options.

Now i consider myself to be fairly traditional and by no stretch a swinger. I was raised in the church, went to college and held a typical corporate job in several fortune 25 companies. Today there are still some things i consider too taboo and therefore outside of my enjoyment. Others though may enjoy some of those, so here is my personal experience.

In my personal life before i was in a long term relationship, i browsed craigslist looking for a casual non committed flings that at that time and period of my single life was fine for me.Craigslist in my opinion was the tinder of today's internet dating. I would ignore anyone soliciting as there were real postings as well.

Years later i met my partner on a regular social site similar to Myspace and Facebook. We courted and within a year were in a committed relationship. That relationship continued for well into a decade. I know she found women appealing within a few early dates and i was happy because obviously i did also.

Years passed and like many looking to spice up our sex lives we would ever so often find ourselves with a unicorn.

So let me explain for those who may not have heard of the mythical “unicorn” of the multiple partner world. This is a woman who is willing to have relations with a couple on a ongoing basis. This is very rear because there was no way to know the woman's preferences and would require just feeling out the situation without embarrassing ourselves or the woman. More often than not our attempts would lead to a threesome where we would never hear from or see the woman again.

Enter craigslist… through their personals as a couple we were able to search specifically for our needs and also list ourselves anonymously to be contacted by those with our similar interests. Twice this listing led to a unicorn, one later moved to another city in another state, the other instance, we moved to another city and that ended the arrangements.

Craigslist inevitable demise i argue was not only because of the bill that was passed but inevitable in a time where the tinders, plentyoffish, badoos and many others of the internet dating age enabled people to do the same if not similar solicitation posts. I would argue as well that they became the access to a larger audience for a sexual solicitation platform. The only difference is its not as targeted. Anyone who has tried a dating site will inevitably get back a message or see a profile from a interest saying code words like “sugar daddy” and “roses” on these larger and more mainstream platforms. I will commend those mentioned platforms for having the necessary moderation in place to weed out the illegitimate profiles.

The issue that is left is they are indeed general dating sites catering to singles seeking relationships.

For those of us looking to legitimately spice up our love lives by introducing a casual outside party until a relationship develops or adding a party to a relationship its frustrating. This frustrations can be seen through the many profiles of women saying “no couples” or those saying they are interested and hoping someone else stumbles upon the profile. The issue is, its back to blindly hoping you will run into what you are seeking for legitimate purposes now that craigslist personals are gone.

But all is not lost there are a few startups like isinmi.com vying to solve these issues, minus the illegitimate issues of craigslist.

Craigslist did not have a community setting for like minded people, just posts, and it did not properly moderate its postings to weed out the illegitimate posts that these newer technologies posses.

Craigslist personals will live on in our hearts for the memories of the experiences it enabled. A newer and less misused technology will rise and those looking to add to their relationship will consolidate once again. Those who scattered to the wind that found the lesser talked about sections of its personals useful.