GET TO KNOW THE UNIQUE WOMAN BEHIND THE PROPHET MUHAMMAD (PBUH): 4 FEATURES WHICH WILL MAKE YOU THE PERFECT SPOUSE — Islam On Life

I am sure you heard the saying “Behind every successful man, there is a strong woman.” In this day and age, I see no reason not to alter this saying as “Behind every successful person, there is a strong supporter.” This could be your wife, your partner, your friend… For the Prophet, this was a unique woman and her name was Khadija. When we take a look at the big picture, we can clearly see why she was the one whom the Prophet would marry. In this article I will try to enlighten 4 of her important characteristics and what can we drive from them which will add value to our lives.

Intelligence

Back in the day, there was no inheritance law with regard to women. Because Khadija had no children and her husband passed away, whatever he had, it was left for her. Khadija was an intelligent woman. Instead of spending recklessly whatever she inherited from her husband, she used that money to invest in the business. She simply started to make a trade and finally, she made a small fortune for herself.

This is a great example of how to utilize what you saved. Instead of spending your money on stuff you don’t really need, you have to search for ways to invest and multiply that money. And, trade is the best to invest in. The Prophet (PBUH) said, “Engage in trade, for nine-tenths of sustenance is found therein…” When you take a look at the wealthiest people on earth who earned their money in legitimate ways, you will observe one way or another they have an engagement with trade. Of course, this is not as simple as it sounds, you have to make a deep research before going into any type of business. Still, people were never more eager to buy as they at this age. I am sure an attentive eye will see the gap in the market and fill it.

Wisdom:

As I mentioned Khadija’s situation was unique. She probably was the only, or one of the few women who had a mentionable wealth which only belongs to her. Because of that, she had many proposals, and she refused all of them. Her path crossed with Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) on an occasion where she was looking for a decent man who would like to carry on her trade on behalf of her name. Back in those days trade was made by caravans and the roads were not suitable for a woman. So, she always preferred a man to carry out the deeds for her and she would give them a percentage of the profit she had.

Once, she gave the responsibility of her caravan to one of the Prophet’s friends and he offered the Prophet to accompany him through the journey. After the journey is completed, the Prophet was shy away to ask for money because he was not accustomed to dealing with women in trade, and he requested from his friend to take his share as well and bring him. Finally, when the man went to take their share, Khadija asked where Muhammad (PBUH) was (of course back then he was not a prophet yet). When she heard that he was too shy to claim his share, she got curious about him. Witnessing this, Khadija’s sister started to talk about Muhammad’s (PBUH) qualities. How he goes by the nickname “Trustworthy” among people, and how he is from a noble family, and how a gentleman he was.

Here, I would like to intervene and dive into a different tangent in order for us to comprehend how really Muhammad (PBUH) was extremely trustworthy among the people of his time even much before he became a prophet… Almost every decade major floods occur in Mecca; still to this day. These floods are so extreme, some damage the Kaaba, even some overthrow it. On one of those occasions when Kaaba was overthrown by a flood, the people of Mecca city decided to rebuild it to be a much stronger structure, using more solid raw materials. At that time, Mecca was ruled by 12 major tribes and because Kaaba was sacred to all of them, they shared the workload among themselves, in order to be blessed by this affair. And not all of them get along pretty well; they were wild people and had almost none tolerance for someone who doesn’t belong to their tribe.

If you were to look at the picture of the Kaaba, you’ll notice a black stone in one of the corners. That stone is sacred to Muslims today and it was considered to be sacred before Islam as well. So, after the completion of the rebuilding of the Kaaba, major 12 tribes argued among themselves on from which tribe the person will be that will place the black stone to its former place. This event got to a point where they swore allegiance among themselves for fighting to the death.

One of the wise men who witnessed that event proposed that the next person who would walk through the main door shall place the black stone to its former place. They accepted this offer. Guess who it was? That was none other than Muhammad (PBUH) who walked in first and when they saw him, all of the elders of those 12 tribes were satisfied. Muhammad’s (PBUH) solution was even better; he proposed the black stone to be placed on the sheet and selected representatives of those 12 tribes will carry the stone by the Kaaba, then Muhammad (PBUH) will place it to its original place. This idea welcomed by all of them and a civil war was prevented.

From where we left off… After hearing those positive words about Muhammad (PBUH) the curtesy of Khadija increased, and that pushed her to deeper research about him which finalized by finally proposing him to marry her. Let us pay attention here; this was approximately 1500 years ago when a marriage proposal from a lady to a man was not something ordinary. Yet, Khadija was not an ordinary woman. Her wisdom not only brought her wealth but also, she got to marry the perfect husband.

This shows the importance of wisdom. Of course, wisdom is not something you can go and buy from the market, also it doesn’t come from watching YouTube videos as well. It comes with experience and that usually comes with age. So, if we don’t have the experience, how should we proceed with tough decisions in our lives…

Consultation… If we are not wise enough, we have to take into consideration the wisdom of the people whom we know and trust. In fact, The Prophet (PBUH) always consulted the wise people around him to have a better understanding of his situation and on how to act that on the particular situation.

Of course, I don’t talk about asking people who don’t have any information about the matter at hand, or people who cannot prove to be successful thinkers and actors. I am talking about consulting people who proved themselves o various occasions and gave the impression that they are wise.

Support:

The Prophet (PBUH) praised Khadijah on many occasions; even many years later after her passing away. Once, he was praising her in front of Aisha, one of his later wives. At this, she got angry and told the Prophet (PBUH) “For how long are going to mention an old toothless lady when Allah gave you a fertile ground?” Meaning, here there she was a young, beautiful lady but the Prophet (PBUH) was praising an old and passed away wife of his. This made him irritated so much, he said “No, Allah did not give a better one than her. She was the first of the believers while I was alone, and everybody rejected me. And she gave me money when everybody had abandoned me. And Allah blessed with me children only through her.”

You must have observed when successful people give speeches, whether it’s the Oscars or Nobel Awards, or any other type of award, they started by thanking their spouses. Because they know for a fact that on those long days and nights if their spouses weren’t there to support them, if they didn’t back them up spiritually, or psychologically, or physically, or financially, or any other way, or all those ways mentioned above, they wouldn’t be standing there.

In this modern-day and age, marriages became so meaningless, one cannot believe how people still are eager to take that step. A marriage must be the merging of two people and becoming one. But, because we are driven by individualism and egoism so much, we forgot to put our marriage in the first place. Rather, we choose to put our self at first, and we leave a little room for our spouses; if left any. This is why marriages don’t last. If each spouse were put their marriage at first and act upon it, it might have lasted till death do them apart. Let us talk with our spouses and make them understand this crucial point.

The Gift of Life:

While the Prophet (PBUH) was on his deathbed, he called her daughter Fatima and whispered something in her ear which made her extremely sad, and she started to cry. Witnessing this, he called her again and whispered something in her ear again. Then she started laughing. After his passing away when Aisha asked Fatima about the conversation between the Prophet (PBUH) and herself on that day, she said he told her that he is about to die, which made her cry. And the second thing he whispered was, Fatima will be the first one from his family to join him, and that made her laugh.

Truly, she passed away only after a couple of months later from the passing away of the Prophet (PBUH). Can you imagine such an extreme love from a daughter to a parent? Well… This seems to be the case when you are raised in such a respectful and loving household, with such loving parents.

The Prophet (PBUH) had children only through Khadijah among his wife’s. Even though having babies is something not we have total control of, it is one of the most important reasons why people got married. It is the manifestation of the love of the spouses that have for each other. And for some, it’s the continuation of their lineage.

We all dream about a society where there is no injustice, no crime, no wrong. Well, that is impossible, but a more decent society is possible. What makes a society decent is the individuals that form it being decent. What makes the individuals decent is, them being raised in a loving, caring, decent houses. And this will be only valid through spouses which support and respect each other.

Survival of a marriage is not an easy thing, that is obvious for those who are married. But it is not something that is impossible as well. We need to learn how to listen and hear one another and try to overcome the problems with patience. Even, we have to try taking professional consultation if need be; everything before going to separate ways.

Originally published at https://islamonlife.com on September 18, 2019.