Have You Seen My Blood Bag?
Peter Theil (NOT ‘Thiel’)

Hello, Gawken, I’d like to submit my resume to apply for position of Chief Commenter, Gawken.com.

My previous comments have ruined the likes of Gawker, Jezebel, The Awl, Yahoo, Youtube and the third stall of the bathroom in Central Station mezzanine.

If you are looking for someone who is smart, witty, and accomplished, well, I’m going to disappoint you in all three categories. However, if you are looking for someone who has weed: I’m you’re man.

Thank you and keep fucking that chicken,

Concerned Mom

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