On the slopes of Chile

As soon as our plane landed and we were able to look outside of the airplane small windows, the majestic of the Andes immediately called our attention. The beautiful lines and top snow covered mountains dramatically contrasted with the fog we could see everywhere else. As we gazed at the hills, the impression to be looking at a symphony partiture grew stronger and stronger as if the creator itself wanted to say something to us with such amazing landscape. Just moving our eyes a little lower and we were reminded of the place man has on nature and on how distant we can be from listening to that "divine music", even if walking around by it almost daily. Cars, industries and all pollution coming from it really made a clear impact on my nose and I wanted to be far from it as soon as possible. I wanted to drive straight to those beautiful mountains and their subtle music.

That is a dichotomy we live with within ourselves. The beauty and glory of our higher selves are always contrasted with our own internal pollution, whether from our uncontrolled thoughts or some of our irrational reactions and their negative emotions. I am no different, that is clear.

The example and proof of that condition came a few days later, while back from the mountains (maybe an allegory of coming down from "good psychological states") and back to the polluted streets of Santiago (our usual "mind"?!). My wife wanted to visit a store she likes and so we went to this particular mall. We got a cab and soon arrived at the destination. Immediately the impression of a crowded mall slapped in my face and for a moment I really felt like simply getting in the car again and moving away from there ASAP. But I moved forward and walked brave in, as if nothing could ever change my own state (after all, I am in control of myself, right??).

The moment my wife stepped into the store (which seemed to be even more crowded than the street itself) I lost her from my sight and my concern immediately became our two daughters, one of 4 and one with 2 years old. If you are a parent you probably know what it is like to keep your attention on kids that age and particularly in a crowded store…It is insane!

Well, but as a father we have no option but to fully divide our attention between the two of them the best we can. I was doing fine, or so I thought, until one of them, my oldest, decided she was playing the role of a cave explorer, but the holes and dangers to be overcomed were the piles of clothes hanging around everywhere you could possibly look at. In panic I started calling her afraid she would get lost…My younger one was moving in the opposite direction. Caos…dispair.

Oh, I forgot to comment about the third element on that battle of attention. The stroller that I naively placed my camera in order to rest my tired neck after so many days carrying around. Yes, I think you know where this is going to take me.

Luisa, the oldest finally decided it was time to reply to my (at this time) shouts and came into my direction. Her younger sister, simply to copy her, also came into my direction so I could formally express how angry I was with both for being stubborn and playing like that in such a "hostile" environment. I looked at them for maybe 5 seconds, enough to say a few words and moved my face back to the stroller, placed at about 1 feet away from where we were. Noticed a strange women's shirt on top of the stroller and for a moment even thought my wife had intentionally placed there as part of her "selection". With my kids back into "normal" I finally found my wife and to my surprise she decided it was time to leave…without buying anything. As happy as I could be we left the store just to stop at another one, just across the hall. It was them that I noticed something was different on the stroller…my camera was not there. A 2K USD piece of equipment and over 400 pictures of our family vacation gone in less than 5 seconds.

It would take a lot to describe all that went on "inside" me for the next couple of hours, but my point here is really not on describing some of our "hell" states. It is really about the changes on those states and how we can move so quickly from heaven to hell when something external looks as being "out of our control".

I will come back and share more about my struggle on tuning my attention again into the positive states that we can access any time, simply by moving away from the pollution of our fog attitudes and shallow understanding of our values. In the meantime, please, I would love to hear how you experience the ups and downs of our emotional life and how do you deal with them.