There’s been a lot of discussion related to Kaitlyn’s tweets last night, which I want to address with the thoroughness and focus they deserve. For the sake of transparency, these allegations were not part of the recent decision to discontinue RollPlay.
As many in the RollPlay community are already aware, Kaitlyn and I have known each other for many years. This is not the first time she has publicly commented about our history. As I’ve said before, I’m reluctant to talk publicly about my personal life and private conversations with friends and cast members. I’m saying something now because of the serious accusations against me, and because people have been (rightfully) concerned about the truth behind these allegations.
I want to be clear about the areas where, looking back, I would have acted differently. And, in light of the events of the last 24 hours, I want to be very clear about the allegations that were and remain untrue.
First, I know I’ve been incredibly lucky to have jobs where I get to make things with my friends — but in any line of work where you do business with friends, relationships get tricky. And as someone who is able to provide working opportunities for people, it’s my responsibility to be extremely careful about how I use that privilege when working with anyone, especially friends.
Several years ago, there were times when I blurred the lines with Kaitlyn as a friend and Kaitlyn as a professional. Although I never propositioned or intended to pressure Kaitlyn on a personal level, I sometimes talked and joked with her about sexually explicit topics intermingled with our professional conversation. I also vented to her about our industry, even discouraging her from working with — or hanging out with — others. Although I believed this was done with good intentions of “protecting Kaitlyn,” I later realized it was inappropriate. At the time, I didn’t fully appreciate that I had the ability to affect Kaitlyn’s future prospects for work, either with RollPlay or elsewhere, versus just being her friend and peer in a specific situation. I regret handling our friendship and business relationship the way that I did, and I apologize to Kaitlyn for putting her in an uncomfortable position.
In the early years of RollPlay, there were also times when I did not have the benefit of experience or good business advisors, and when my business practices were not as disciplined as they should have been. As a business leader, it was my responsibility, for example, to put a clear invoice and payment process in place for cast members — especially when they’re my friends — and talk through those terms with all of our cast members. I did not do that job as well as I should have, which rightfully resulted in confusion and hurt feelings from Kaitlyn, Steven, Neal, and other contractors.
Since then, on multiple occasions, I have privately apologized to Kaitlyn for my actions and tried to make amends for my missteps. I chose to keep these conversations private, because they were about our relationship as friends and as professionals.
I’m aware that there have been allegations of abuse, physical assault, and grooming, most recently in Kaitlyn’s tweets from Sunday. There have also been allegations (in her screenshot DMs with our friend Geoff) that Kaitlyn had informed me of a situation involving another member of RollPlay. These are all extremely serious allegations and did not involve me, which is why I want to be clear about my position.
I have treated Kaitlyn unfairly in the past and I apologized then (and again now) for my mistakes — but these broad accusations of abuse, physical assault and grooming are extremely concerning, and do not represent my experience with Kaitlyn. In addition, I was not made aware of a situation involving Kaitlyn and another RollPlay member until Kaitlyn messaged me in late 2017, long after she left Rollplay. She briefly alluded to a physical assault (without naming names), but never gave details. With the information she gave me at the time, I responded as best I could, while also trying to privately and respectfully address her separate accusations against me personally.
I hoped that we could resolve the issues privately — but after continuous back-and-forth, it did not seem possible that we would reach a resolution. At the end of 2019, a Cease & Desist letter was sent on my behalf. The purpose of the letter was to ask Kaitlyn to stop making false accusations and personal attacks, directly and indirectly, privately and publicly. Also, Kaitlyn seemed unwilling to reconcile privately, despite her repeated messages to me and to mutual friends. The letter did not ask Kaitlyn to stop speaking about sexual assault or abuse. It was not, and still is not, a threat to stop Kaitlyn from telling the truth — it was an effort to stop her from mischaracterizing it.
Over the past few years, I have put better structures and practices in place both in my business and in my personal life. On the business side, I put contracts in place for RollPlay and improved our business process for all cast members. I’ve also reflected a lot on my role as both a business leader and friend to our cast members, and on what I need to do to respect the boundaries and imbalance between the two. I’ve apologized to Kaitlyn privately, and for almost a year and a half, in an effort to keep improving and learning, I’ve been in therapy to work on managing overall anxiety, stress and anger. It’s been a tremendous help in shifting my perspective on things.
I also want to acknowledge important context. Over the past few days, many brave women have come forward with their stories of abuse and mistreatment by men in our industry. These are extremely important conversations to have, and I admit that my past behavior, which I’ve discussed here, was part of the bigger problem that women are shining a light on. It’s important that men — including myself — continue to listen to these stories and reflect on our privilege in this industry, and that is what I’m hoping to do through these comments.
While I’ve learned from my mistakes, I also know this is an area for continuous lifetime improvement. I know that my community and friends expect better of me — so I am going to continue my work on bettering myself. While I cannot change the errors of the past, it’s my hope that in discussing them honestly and openly I’m able to account for my past actions and commit to positive growth going forward.
Thank you for taking the time to read my perspective.
