An Open Letter to the Supergirl Cast and Fandom

Megan
Megan
Jul 23, 2017 · 5 min read

I am opening my word processor to write this at 1:46 AM. I woke up at 11 yesterday, excited for a day of San Diego Comic Con news. It feels like I’ve been awake for years.

I have received a hundred and something messages on Twitter and Tumblr in the past 24 hours. Many were asking questions. Some were complaining. But around 10 or so of them were people who felt confused, broken, and lost. A couple of those people were young teenagers, barely in high school, who needed someone to talk to, someone to trust. I am honored that they came to me, but they shouldn’t have had to.

And that’s the crux of it all, isn’t it? We shouldn’t have to be having this conversation. We shouldn’t have to beg and plead to be treated with respect.


As I said, I got a lot of messages. Not all of them were nice. I was told we deserved this; I was told I was overreacting.

I was told, in one anonymous message, that if I had just been straight and normal I wouldn’t be upset. That particular one got deleted immediately.

But the simple truth is that nobody deserves to feel unwelcome. Nobody deserves to feel unsafe because of who they are and who they love.

I will repeat what I said: nobody.

There has been a lot of conversation about the drama within the Supergirl fandom. It does not matter, though, what side you are on, if you were on either. It does not matter who you ship — this was never about ships.

What you are saying when you say we “deserved this” or “asked for it” is this: the LGBT community must conform to a certain set of standards to deserve representation. It’s that simple. You have decided that we must earn the privilege to see ourselves represented on screen. Not only that, you have decided we must earn the right to be taken seriously.

My only question, then, is why?

These were words spoken by celebrities. Members of a cast of a major television show. If you think it is alright for them to espouse these beliefs in the middle of an interview to “get back” at a few outspoken fans online, why? They already have the power, so their actions are not an attempt to gain respect. No, they are simply bullying those they view as beneath them.

If you see no problem with the words spoken yesterday, then I am happy for you. You did not feel the same anguish I did, and that’s good. I wouldn’t wish that on anybody.

But I did feel it, and I know the people who came and asked me for advice, the people I saw on my dashboard and timeline, the people whose words and responses I read felt it too. You do not get to tell us otherwise.

If you would like to believe we are overreacting, fine. I doubt there is much I can say to convince you otherwise. But why does it matter? You do not know a person’s life, circumstances, or history. If they say they are hurt by certain actions, is it all that bad to simply trust them?

It hurt because we’ve all heard it before. It hurt because every single one of us has been there: we have been told that our sexuality isn’t real, and we have been oversexualized, and we have been made into jokes again, and again, and again.

It hurt because we know what those words — “they’re just friends, they’re never going to be more than that, they’re not gay just because you think they are” — mean. They mean “I think of you as different. I think of you lesser. I don’t respect you.”


The Supergirl cast yesterday sat on camera and sang a song to recap season 2. In the middle, they loudly, suddenly proclaimed that the most popular ship in the fandom — Kara and Lena — were just friends and would never be more than that. It was a violent, unexpected intrusion into the interview that mirrored violent, unexpected outbursts we all know and fear.

And you know what? We knew that they wouldn’t be canon. We did! Shipping is not about making something canon; shipping is seeing a relationship and connecting to it, wanting more of it, wanting to chase and understand and break apart that dynamic and put it back together again in a million different ways.

So, yeah. We never thought Supercorp would be canon. We knew not to ask that much.

It was never about the ship, of course. It was never about the particulars. It was about the message they sent by singing those words and laughing. To hear our sexualities and our hopes used as the punchline for a joke stung. To realize people I respected, considered allies, thought the mere idea of these two women falling in love was funny enough to joke and laugh about was one of the most hurtful things I have heard recently.

Because, at the end of the day, that would never happen with a man and a woman. Heterosexual ships are the default. You know the trope: movie begins. There is a man, and there is a woman. They will kiss by the time the movie ends. Where are the songs about that?

It just wasn’t necessary. It wasn’t relevant. It was meant to make fun of a part of the fanbase that is composed of mostly young LGBT women. Since when is that okay?


I’m glad that — at the time I am writing this — at least one member of the cast that was involved has apologized. I’m glad that our feelings and our experiences matter, even if they matter a bit too late.

But I would like to make one note: calling out homophobia is not bullying. It is not mean. Rather, it is the only justified response. Homophobic actions deserve swift, sharp responses, or else they will perpetuate the system that created homophobia in the first place. In a perfect world, we would not even be having this conversation. In a perfect world, there would be no song.

Alas, there is a song. We are not the ones responsible for the pain here.


I guess what I am trying to say is this: Supergirl featured its main character wearing a sweater that read “Power to the Girls” in one episode, a display of feminist support on a show that is watched primarily by young women.

Last night, it felt like they only meant “power to the straight ones.”

Please. Do better.

Megan

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Megan

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