It’s Just Dodge Ball!!
Contrary to what people who know me think, I’m an introvert! Nothing causes more anxiety for me than new people, situations or changes in what I consider a familiar environment.
Today that anxiety was amped up due to a dodge ball tournament at my son’s middle school. Look, I volunteer at my son’s school and attend different events-band recital, award ceremonies, field trip, plays, talent shows, school carnival, etc.. but it’s ALWAYS tied to an event or specific purpose. However, this time my son volunteered to participate in a student dodge ball tournament, sponsored by student council. It was for students, after lunch, no parent volunteers needed or parents invited BUT my son wanted me to attend.
I freaked out! This meant I’d have to go to the school… in the middle of the day… for no specific reason! There are no other parents attending, just students and teachers, what am I supposed to do? I will stick out like a sore thumb? Will all the students and teachers look at me and wonder, “Why is she here?” Will they make fun of my son for being a “Momma’s Boy” because he asked her to watch him compete in a dodge ball tournament?
I hesitated and never gave a concrete yes or no. I tried to think of many ways to get out of it. I even called the school to see if parents could attend, hoping to get an out. I was informed that parents can attend but the is event is being held in the gym, specifically for students and chances are there wouldn’t be any seats available. Perfect, an out!
Then, the guilt kicked in! I went back and forth, over and over again about not attending. If I don’t show… what will my son think? Is this a pivotal moment and one of those things that will always stand out in his mind? Will this translate to I’m never there for him or support him? Are my feelings more important than his?
SO…I got dressed, hopped in the car and headed to school…my anxiety was at an all-time high and my stomach dropped lower and lower, each mile closer to school…telling myself the whole time, It’s just dodge ball!