Damn you, thoughts!

If there is something I want to change about myself then it is to have the ability to take a break from thinking. Almost like having a button to shut down my mind sometimes. Yes, I think too much. But that’s not the bad part. The part that sucks is my inability to put a satisfying end to every single thought process. My mind feels like a wardrobe of clothes right now. Just pathetically messed up. None of those clothes are on their specific hangers. They are all over the place. And it sucks big time.

There is a love-hate relationship I have with my thoughts. I love thinking, no doubt. The hatred comes because my all my thoughts cannot be captured. Imagine if I had a printer that printed every single thought that crossed my mind. Better yet, set them up in a bundle together to refer someday. How much I wish something like that to invent. My life would be oh so sorted.

This causes a lot of problems in real life. Keeping up with my publication tops that list. It is harder than I thought. And given that it revolves around such a vast topic like gender equality, things are only getting harder. I literally pick up at least one thing everyday that adds value to the topic. But no, either my memory erases it or I just have a hard time fitting it right in my flow.

Gender equality is hard to understand but harder to explain. Mostly because you have to backwalk all the steps that helped you reach the destination. It means that you have to start by believing in gender inequality. Then question everything and then find answers step by step. It took me half a month to get to my destination of my last post and the other half to describe every step, every thought and fit all the pieces properly.

There is an interesting thing about this topic. Every time I discuss about it or anything around it with someone, there is a new perception — keeping aside its quality. Some turn into huge debates and sometimes, the other person just gives up. It’s fun but exhausting, especially when you have other things to do too. My point is, gender equality is complicated — 100x complicated than tangled earphones. Every action has to be taken carefully lest it will only strengthen the knot instead of solving it. Whatever it is, I hope I’m getting my message through.