Everyone likes to talk about BRAND. Personal Brand. Value Statements. The answers to the question: What are your unique gifts and qualities? You need to know this so you can stand out from the rest of the crowd.
In the corporate world, it’s beaten into you. Likely in other industries too. After hundreds of drafts of my resume and bios and other ‘snippets’ that try to capture the above, here is what I know for sure:
1. I am better in person than on paper
2. I am not for everyone
My official biography or resume, while chock full of wonderful accomplishments measured in dollars saved and efficiencies gained and morale and employee experience survey increases tries to tell that story — and it is boring AF.
I mean really. Who gives a fuck about my taking a business through a 20% workforce reduction managed entirely by positive attrition and internal efficiency wins? WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?!?!? There is so much jargon and bullshit and bravado in that statement. WHO TALKS LIKE THAT? Sheesh…
But it looks good on my professional bio and CV and it serves a purpose because THAT is what gets me the interview.
The interview is where I hook ’em. The interview is where I get to tell my story. And the real story — my story — is found in the mistakes made, the near misses and the fuck ups that I don’t put on my CV.
Sometimes, despite all those ‘accomplishments’, it is still not enough to land the interview.
I once interviewed for a job only because someone called a member of the panel and said “You’ve GOT to meet this woman. What’s the harm?” What I didn’t know was that the position was basically spoken for, which is often the case in large organizations with robust talent and resource planning processes.
I get it.
My interview was the last slot of the day. 3–4PM. It was a panel of three people I had never met. They had been interviewing all day for two of the same roles leading two different businesses.
They were tired — interviewing is exhausting.
I was nervous — It was my first panel interview and it was in a big boardroom with leather chairs and a horse-shoe shaped table.
After some preliminaries, we got stuck into the process and it was going okay. Pretty vanilla until they asked me this question: “Can you tell us about a time when you have successfully engaged & improved the employee experience through a period of change?”
It was a good question. Behavioral question. Looking for specific examples of past performance and experiences to indicate future performance and competence.
Classic.
I took a deep breath and paused — then I went for it and said: “No. But I can tell you about a time I tried to do that, royally screwed it up and now know exactly what not to do.”
They all leaned in. The woman on the left smirked. The one in the middle said “Tell us about that time…” And in that moment of risk and vulnerability and honesty, they told me later, with that answer I got the job.
Best job I’ve ever had in the organization and I’ve had a lot of cool ones. But that was my favourite.
It doesn’t always work out that way — I don’t always hook ‘em.
Late last year I had a call from a recruiter looking to fill a role on their leadership team.
It was a small company, family founded business, and the role would be reporting to the CEO. During our discussions she felt I would be the right kind of fit and the fresh perspective and energy that the team needed. We spoke for an hour and she loved me.
It would all come down to fit with the boss.
And given it was an exploratory and I already had a lovely job for a great organization, there was literally no risk in it for me. Exploring options is always a good idea, so it was a no brainer.
And guess what? He hated me.
And even though I know getting told no is part of the territory, that doesn’t make it any easier. It is hard to be rejected or passed over or feel second (or third or fourth or fifth) best.
I think it’s even harder to try to be something or someone you’re not.
I am not for everyone. Neither are you. That’s okay.
Remembering this and reminding myself of this is important. Because two weeks before I interviewed and slayed and got my favourite job, I got told no for a job that I was basically a lock for.
That no enabled the yes that led to me taking on a role I loved.
Whether it is for a job or a speaking engagement, I am going to get told no. I am going to have meetings where they are looking for a speaker with credentials or experiences that I don’t have. I am going to write articles that don’t land. I am going to get feedback — sometimes brutal — on materials & presentations because it’s just not good enough. Yet.
I know that. And I know I need to be okay with that…but I’m not.
It feels bad. It makes my stomach hurt and triggers all my ‘good-girl’ instincts to shout “I promise to do better! Please keep loving me!!” and I don’t like it.
But I am going to keep trying.
I am going to keep writing and submitting articles even if I never hear from anyone ever again. I’m going to keep taking on speaking engagements and doing what I do best and KNOW that there will be feedback saying I am not enough X or too much Y.
I am wired — like many of us are — to seek validation. Approval. Acceptance. Validation. I can’t change that.
But I can work on accepting that I won’t get that from everyone.
Because no matter how good I am in person, and I am, I am not for everyone.
