Dating Profile: 4 Steps to Make an Impression with Your Photos (Fast!)

Today we’re focusing on what I like to call 1 of the 3 Speed bumps we deal with dating apps.

Speed Bump 1: You don’t match with people frequently, so it takes a long time before you can chat with someone.

Through setting up your photos, you will learn how to attract more people to you and match more frequently while being authentic at the same time. This will shorten the wait time you usually have to deal with before you chat with someone.

Let’s start with your photos.

How are you perceived on dating apps? What are your photos showing about you?

Don’t try to impress anyone. You should laugh at yourself for that. That’s serving yourself. Rather impress upon someone who you are. This is serving others.

Serve your date. Not you. Basic principle.

Most people, often in good nature, want to craft their best image on dating profiles. Perhaps even better than who they actually are. This does a few good things — you come off as attractive, you have more confidence measuring up on the given app, and you can emphasize your favorite traits.

But this causes you to miss out on one of the most appealing qualities — authenticity. Sure, you want someone to see how deep you are by presenting a photo where you’re sitting on a cliff meditating. But how often are you on a cliff meditating? Maybe you want to show off five photos of your body in nice underwear, but how often do people regularly see you in your underwear? It may not be how you normally present yourself.

One of the most attractive qualities people attest to is someone confident with who they truly are, and someone willing to be vulnerable. So share tiny bits of authenticity from the outset in your photos and also in your description.

Four Steps to Emphasize Authenticity in Your Photos

1. Choose to show between a minimum of four photos and maximum of seven photos. Not a peek, not your life story. Just a glimpse. (I like to present five total photos, but this is up to you.)

2. For your first two photos, find candid photos of yourself. One with a genuine smirk or laugh does great. The second photo can be another candid laugh. Overall just make sure you’re not posing for the camera in the photo. This sets a truthful tone from the moment someone sees your profile.

Make sure ONLY YOU are in these first two photos. If other people are in these first two photos, it’s difficult to distinguish whose profile this is. And now people are already comparing how attractive you are to others. If you’re the only person in the photo, no comparison can be made.

(Side note: When your first photo shows multiple people, a lot of swipers go by the following rule: “The ugliest person in the photo is the profile owner.”)

And when I say candid, that basically means NO SELFIES. Selfies are posed. Don’t kid yourself.

3. For your third photo, this one can be more posed but consider your personality. Of course you smile, but are you also sassy or sarcastic? Show a photo where you’re rolling your eyes. Are you dramatic? Showcase that big personality. Are you a klutz? Show yourself losing your balance somewhere. This can be very endearing, and again you’re standing out from the crowd because people don’t show those kind of photos.

Pro-Tip: Avoid showing off how cool you are in this third photo. First, you’re not as cool as you think you are. Second, dating profiles are FILLED with people trying to show off how cool they are. More often, you gather how pretentious a person is from those photos than how cool they are. Third, people think you’re cool because you are authentic. You are cool because you genuinely are dramatic or a klutz or calm. If you posed against a brick wall with sunglasses and a nice jacket, your coolness is a facade.

4. With your final photos, showcase activities you’ve done. Have you scaled a mountain? Do you run marathons? Do you perform on stage? Plop those great photos in to fill out the end. Those photos often are also candid. These photos are talking points potential matches will ask you about later.

Oh….and don’t show three photos of the same activity. Are you a one-trick pony? Of course not.

Give a variety.
Don’t impress, but impress upon someone who you are.
Serve your date. Not you.

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