Everyone is different, some people are naturally loud, others are naturally quiet, but in modern society the loudest are naturally heard more, but those who are naturally quieter still have a story to tell, they do have a voice and deserve to be listened too.
Being quiet is actually normal
Let’s be honest, some people are perfectly at ease at being quiet, it’s equally not often a choice, it’s something that is hardwired into a persons personality. Introverts or extroverts can always act ‘out of character’ — as a quieter individual myself I can still lead a trustee meeting, or deliver a training course at work, the same way a louder individual can sit down and listen, but even then it’s equally important to remember that everyone is unique and different and that some people also struggle with social isolation and loneliness, which is sadly something my girlfriend has to deal with.
We can tell our own story!
Time and time again I come up against people taking a considerable amount of their time telling me how or where I should be, or assuming that just because ‘your in a relationship’ that you automatically have someone to help and support you. Everyone needs a level of support in life, though friends, family and acquaintances but everyone’s story and life is different. By all means offer advice based on your experience but please remember that our story is likely to be different and just because something similar happened to you, our outcome is likely to be something completely different.
It’s important to remember that just because someone is quieter doesn’t mean that they don’t require or equally deserve the help and support of others.
Social Anxiety
Before dismissing the quieter person, please remember that often quieter individuals have an element of social anxiety. That feeling of ‘new’ and the ‘unknown’ can play a big part in someone being quiet. The feeling of being judged, of saying the wrong thing, wearing the wrong thing and the subsequent feeling of guilt of being judged plays a huge part in any social situation. Anxiety is crippling by nature, and it something that needs deeper understanding.
Undervalued
Just because people don’t offer information freely, and that you might not know much about them doesn’t mean they don’t have something important to bring to the table. Are we assuming that quieter people aren’t as valuable to society as their louder counterparts? Just because people don’t speak does not mean that we are disengaged, disinterested or not a valued member of society. It’s important that others, including managers or more senior members of staff remember how we work and create an inclusive environment for these people — we are not robots, we all work with greatly individual styles and it’s time that the quieter people are given their chance too!
Give us a chance!
Give quieter people a chance to speak — rather than ignoring the quiet person, or ask the usual ‘So why are you quiet?’ why not ask something different? ‘What book have you read recently? What do you think of that latest movie? Did you see the football last night?’ you might be pleasantly surprised to what the answer is!
It would be amazing if people met quieter individuals half-way, there’s an awful lot of pressure on quieter people to step way out of their comfort zone to speak more, but if those where met in a more halfway situation, then just maybe there will be more conversation and a greater understanding.