Random thoughts from an awkward adult

I was at the grocery store today, and apparently so was everyone else in Chicago. And I think I got into one of those “I-go-this-way-you-go-that-way-but-we-both-go-the-same-way” dances about 50 times. What is this and why does it happen to me all the time? Is it because I’m a small person and I move fast, too fast for all the regular sized adults?

I had to squeeze through the aisles so many times, and every time, I had to lift my cart to inch it a little to the side to get the right angle to roll forward. Instead of clearly enunciating “excuse me” or “pardon,” me, tiny Asian woman, wiggles her way through. So weird.

And then I’m in the checkout line, and the next lane opens up, but I don’t hear the checkout lady announce it and the handsome gentleman behind me asks if I’m going to move over. I was obviously not paying attention as I was tending to pictures of dogs on Instagram, and of course I had no idea what he’s talking about. So I looked around with probably the MOST confused face he’s ever seen, and I know he would like to just move over, but he’s being polite yet getting annoyed with me, the awkward girl with glasses that don’t stay on her Filipino nose. And it feels like 10 minutes go by until I realize what is happening, and instead of saying “you go ahead” I clumsily move my cart over, almost running over a clearly irritated young woman in her head to toe Lululemon outfit.

It was a mess.

I feel like I get into these types of hullaballoo ALL. THE. TIME. When walking my dog, trying to tell other dog owners that my dog is friendly, but then I fumble over my words and I sound like I don’t speak English. Or I speak too fast because I’m nervous, which pretty much happens EVERY time I speak to strangers. I basically am unable to order pizza over the phone because I talk too fast and/or giggle nervously and no one understands me.

As I have come into my adulthood, it seems I have become more awkward. But the thing is, I think you are too. We all are. How many times have to waved back at a person who wasn’t waving at you? Or had a complete wrong response to a simple greeting or question (Taxi driver at airport: “Have a nice trip!” Me: “You too!”)? It’s life. And it’s weird. And hilarious. I would have it no other way!

Well, see ya.

Ugh I’m weird and don’t know how to end this. SO….. (slowly backs away)