I raised an Adult!

Deb
Deb
Aug 22, 2017 · 2 min read

18 years ago today, my child was born.

I had a different kind of introduction to motherhood than most. I didn’t get to enjoy the sex, did not have to go through the plethora of body changes that must have been hell for a 19 year old who barely had the chance to know what the changes were and how to deal with them. I did not spend days and days alone with my thoughts and battle nightmares and feelings of loneliness that the teenager who finds herself in this kind of situation would have. And most importantly of all, I didn’t experience the real pains of childbirth.

Instead, I walked into motherhood two months later. When the wailing sounds of an angry or wet or hungry child seemed to pierce every daydream I attempted to have to make the situation around me bearable. The giggles and laughter were there to soften even the hardest 14-year old’s heart. And I try to think that my heart was hard!

I had big dreams of how I wanted to spend my school holidays when I was 14 years old. I had finally finished primary school. I was meant to have a blast doing nothing but eating and sleeping as I prepared myself for high school. That’s what I thought. Raising a child wasn’t in my plans. I became a mother way before I even knew what that meant. I went with the flow. Followed instructions that were dolled out sometimes in not the kindest voices. And before I knew it, I was his protector. He looked at me as the safe haven that he could rely on.

I stumbled into motherhood…but I regained my footing and managed to stand proud and play my part.

18 years later and I am not much of a mother. I am now the fun aunt. I actually enjoy this more because not all women are meant to be mothers. I discovered this when I was fourteen; I am not meant to be a mother. But I can mother when needed. I can help. I can give the support that helps hold the real mother together. And on special milestones like today, I get to celebrate the special occasion. I played a part. I can be proud.

Biggest congratulations to the most resilient woman I know. And a tiny bit of congratulations to me too. We did well.

)

Deb
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