Today was one of those days when I bitterly regretted ever letting computers and the internet into my life and allowing them the power to dictate my time and my state of mind in the most toxic and destructive way.

Just as I start feeling grateful for something that seems like a great improvement in my life and just as I begin to depend on it, it gets mercilessly snatched away without any valid reason and without the slightest warning …

I am talking about the e books. Being a kind of person that reads all the time : while walking a dog; waiting for a tram, in the tram; in the doctor’s waiting room…on the airport; on board of the airplane … you get the picture.

E books are made for a person like me . Being able to hold a small library in a tablet or even a smart phone —to hold a library of hundreds of books in my hand , just several grams in weight, that is the dream come true. Being able to read in the dark ; to enlarge the size and the type of the font and all the other little things — that is my kind of magic . Being able to buy a new book any time of the day or night , anywhere , at all times, just with one click of the button… Bless Amazon Kindle !

I became an instant addict for life.

The last two days I have been going through the painful flip side of my addiction. As it inevitably happens — every addict knows all about it. There will come a day when your substance of choice suddenly gets denied to you . There is nothing you can do to prevent it from happening. No matter how careful, experienced and organized an addict you may be, it is bound to happen.

Brace yourself : cold turkey is somewhere in your path lurking . It can and it will suddenly pounce and hold you in its grip. You will pay dearly for all the times of the bliss your habit had given you until then. It is the nature of the beast. That is the reason why addiction is not a good thing. It will catch up with you some time, sooner or later. It is as much of a certainty as the death itself .

I have just finished a book — even wrote a little recension and posted it on Amazon. I already knew which is the next book I wanted to read . I found it, did a click, and… no book upload! “ We have encountered a problem with your billing data.” I know what the problem is — I have actually already taken care of it . I have a new credit card. Already have taken care to edit these data on my account with my Amazon Kindle. As a matter of fact, the book I have just finished, I had already bought with my new credit card. But this is not a matter of any logic. There is no rationality in play here. Oh no. Don’t waste your time looking .

What is happening here is something of an entirely different ilk.

My own nasty little cold turkey chose to say hello . Her ugly head has popped out and is grinning malevolently at me. “Hallo there my little addict! Long time no see! Let’s have some fun , you and I, hahahaaa!”

For the past two days I have been on line with Amazon checking and rechecking my account . Making a 1000% sure the right credit card is registered. Checked with the Google Chrome; checked with my bank. Rechecked… Tried to buy the book again. Same answer. No go. I went through the same procedure at least 200 times. Even somehow finally managed to get a “chat” on line with a live person from the customer service from the Amazon U.K . Very kind and friendly, will contact the Dutch branch that is responsible for my account. (I could not get the Dutch counterpart in the same manner.) Ironically , it was the Dutch Amazon that had sent me a “thank you” note for submitting a book recension — that book I which had bought with my new credit card by the way! The one that is now suddenly and stubbornly, stupidly not being recognized.

And the turkey - my Cold Turkey, is laughing that knee slapping laugh… “hahahahaaa you poor stupid addict, hahahahaaa…”

It is the day #3. I have a lot of things on my agenda. A busy day. I am painfully aware I have neglected so many people and so many things I needed to do in the past two days. My apologies to all . To you too, especially to you Shahzeb Akhter, Zev, bro…Please do not misunderstand my absence! I did not forget you . It is this cursed addiction…

There is one thought on my mind. Amazon Kindle. I shall try to delay as long as possible trying to buy that book I have set my mind on. But I will try. And I will buy it. Eventually.

Praying that bitch of a turkey is gone away to torture some other poor sucker.

Untill the next time it gets to be my turn again.

Picture credit: Monsters .inc. Google