ON GIVING
I apologize for letting you wait so long for my response. Just too many things get in the way sometimes. I thank you for an excellent advice regarding the publications and for urging me to follow it. I am slow, but I do catch on eventually. You are absolutely right and I am lucky to have you. Who else, to point my weighty nose in the right direction? It takes courage, loads of good will and even a bit of engeneering skill to accomplish such a feat. You know, a big object is hard to move.
I love the direct and honest way you ask a question “to whom to give?” You oblige me to give you as direct and honest answer. The kind of giving I wrote about is giving without the (predictable) context. Giving that is not anchored in tradition, family obligations, that is not the part of that implicit contract that exists between friends and similar relationships.
I had to stop here and think. What exactly did I mean? What kind of giving really felt so good to me? That kind of giving that has no story. No past and no future attached to it. When it is not a payment for something in the past and when it is not an investment for the future. To a stranger, or someone you do not expect to see again any time soon. To someone who did not ask for it, who does not expect it, but to whom the gift will make a difference. Where the gift will not come with the burden of obligation. Basically where you are the only actor. There comes an instant when you just want to do it and doing it feels good. Just be a person that is capable of such spontaneous deeds and that knows the joy that comes with them. I know for a fact that it feels better than being a person who knows how to get something from the others. There is satisfaction to be felt in both scenarios. But I know there is a difference in the quality of the satisfaction. There is a clear logic in feeling good when you take or get something for yourself. But in giving something, there is …a blessing. And it feels good even when there is no logic to it. A different class of gratification. Maybe it is about evolving from being mere human to becoming an angel.
