I’m trying Ivana Knezevic !!!
Susan Christiana


If you are a kind of a person that never gives up, I need not worry. I just had an idea — not sure about it , but maybe you can find me easier on the Twitter. The story was shared there. Or, to be more precise , you may get linked straight to it from the Twitter. Sometimes I am not aware of the size of Medium — I read I somewhere that 2 million people use it! Funny how one can still exist and function on Medium, within a small circle of not more than 10–20 people that one somehow gravitates to… It does happen occasionally that I get lost in the Medium Maze : suddenly reading all these strange articles on coding, entrepreneurship and start ups… Sometimes i think they are writing in some unknown language , especially when it is about coding! Then, the next day I am back in my own neck of the woods , a cozy little circle where I have already developed affection for the people , got to know them in both a vague, but also fiercely intimate way … When you know somebody’s deepest emotions while you do not even know what his/her face looks like ; what is the color of their eyes ,or what age they are …you recognize their style of writing, you get to notice if they are absent and get to miss them and to worry when it happens.

As a matter of fact , I am just setting to write a post especially for this one man that I kind of got attached to — in the special Mediumite way , if you know what I mean . Here we can share very personal stories and confidences, knowing that it will never be abused, that there will always remain respectful distance and discretion, never in any way offending or compromising one another.

As I was saying … I grew comfortably used to his silly remarks , often endearingly childish; his harmless strangely adolescent way of vaguely flirting with at least 15 female authors — all outstanding as writers and as personalities , to be sure! That told me enough about his quite sophisticated taste for both people and literature. Although he does not write much by himself, he is a great communicator , generous and enthusiastic supporter , in fact offering very valuable feedback that , in my opinion , no writer can do without! Now I am trying to describe one stranger to another … because we are strangers according to many standards. We genuinely connect in a flash through our words ... Heart to heart , in a straight line, the shortest one that connects the two dots in space. Yet, we could be standing right next to one another,or to this man — in a shop or at the taxi stand, and we wouldn’t have a clue!

This Medium friend has been absent now for more than a week . I could check and tell you exactly, because I had just completed this story Unraveling. I had actually started it prompted by a conversation with him. Then I published it, unconsciously expecting, counting — relying on his special and unique highlighting , his comments and a bit of relaxed friendly banter that I grew accustomed to .

I finally published the story. A day passed , nothing. I got restless and I wrote , addressed him ,asking where was he , why no word from him? Normally I wouldn’t dare be so blunt, but I felt it was justified . After all, he was the only one that had followed the story from the start — there were two short bits, the beginning of the narrative, that I wrote mainly as a part of a conversation with him .

He did respond straight away. With one sentence only: “Ivana, I am not well.”

Now as the days are passing and he is still not back, I see how, without realizing it, I got used to his being there, even started taking him for granted! His solidarity. His company. His kindness. His input! I had started relying on his comments, on his feedback. He has this special way of highlighting the stuff he reads. The way he does it, he would provide me with a totally new experience, reading back my own stuff through his eyes. What he found important, significant or just … well… curios! Which were the parts he liked, what those had revealed about me… He had actually taught me to see value in my own writing!

I want him to know that he is being missed here. I hope it will give him a bit of a positive , healing energy. You see, I do not even know how he looks like! Here the minds and the hearts meet and connect. On a fine level , sharing the love of the written word, swapping stories , real or created … Medium is special. Don’t you think Susan?