Exactly, why are you afraid?
Mariah Adams

You are right as usual, Mariah. I have no explanation. It is irrational . All my life I live in a mode of “kiss and not tell”. Now I need to switch into a “tell” mode. So suddenly I seem to have the issue with telling that which I never had the issue actually doing. I will get over it, of course. I guess I am just dealing with this mental inertia. Because otherwise I am more than ready to do that which I have been hearing for years and which I know myself too, namely that I need to write and share my stories. As of lately it has become the whole purpose of my existence. Because I guess that is about how much time I have left. Maybe a decade or so. Just enough to sort it all out, wrap it up, present it to the world and hopefully a little more time to chill a bit and enjoy the sense of completion.