Why do we like to dwell in our misery?
You do have the choice to stop dwelling, but you ignore it.
Everyone has their own way to cope with difficult circumstance. Be it in coping with failure, problems, or other unexpected situations. However, if we keep staying in negative mindset without thinking of way out, we are dwelling in our misery.
For me, I dwell when I fail to reach my target in competition that I join, when I do not get interviewed for the job that I want, when I thought my brains are so normal that I cannot think extraordinary ideas, when my parents refuse to give me permission to stay out late by justifying their unreasonable logic, and the list goes on…
The red line of my dwellng is extremely clear, because I stuck myself in the hole of misery only for digging it deeper and deeper. There are 2 reasons that I reflect from my dwelling:
Keep blaming the external factor
The difficult circumstance that we face might not be caused by ourselves, but by the external factors surrounding it. However, though we realize it is caused by the external factor, we cannot make it as our justification for not finding the solution. Making it as the justification means obstructing the process of self reflect upon realizing the problems and the options to solve it. This may lead to delays of realization.
Keep thinking that there will be no other opportunity
Every one of us, when our dignity is at stake, will do our very best effort to retain that dignity. However, no matter how hard we try, sometimes we face failure. In that vulnerable moment, we may believe that there will be no opportunity like this again in the future, and that thought scares us to death. So, we do not accept the fact that we fail, and we feel hopeless because of that.