Looking for an answer
I google everything. If I am not sure what something, or I am just not happy with how something is going I will google it.
For instance, right now I just feel really tired… so I googled how to feel less tired or how to have more energy.
I am discovering when ever anything turns in to work, I really don’t want to do it. So I google — why am I so adverse to work?
I’m always searching for an answer, a video, and thought leader that will give me an answer or a solution to what I am going through and how to fix it. I have the answers, the question is am I going to take the time to actually do the job myself.
There is a lot to do in this world, so much opportunity and things…
Really it comes down to knowing that there are people out there that I love and I want to make sure that they know that. There are things that I want to create of which I want to be a part.
I think the English was right on that, my writing can be suspect sometimes.
I have started and not finished a lot of things in my life. I get bored with them easily, and once it takes follow through and effort, once there is a possibility that I may be judged or I have to actually put it out there. I get nervous. I stop. I “think of something else that might work”.
The more I go on, the more weary I get of “googling” to find the answers to my life. The more I miss the people I love because I am scared of judgement of what they will say when I haven’t talked to them in forever or that they will not be interested in being a part of my life anymore.
That really scares me.
Just typing that makes me feel the fear of someone reading this and thinking “man.. that guy is scared of everything. What a punk.”
I can’t live this way, I don’t want to live this way.
If I have to choose between comfort and accomplishment, I want accomplishment. However, to actually hold true to that…. I have to get over my addiction to comfort. It’s an extremely strong addiction.
Today I know that the answer is within me. I will give Google a break, for now.