Today I Threw Away His Toothbrush
Today I threw away his toothbrush
Today I threw away his toothbrush. Yep, I finally did it. It has been a long hard 6 months but I tossed that shit right in the trash can. It was taking up too much space in my bathroom. So I got rid of it. No more clutter in my house.
Today I threw away his toothbrush. I didn’t need it. I don’t even know why I said he could keep it here. Shit, it wasn’t like he was constantly here. He was only here when his main girl wasn’t around.
Today I threw away his toothbrush. It wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be. I stared at it for months contemplating and debating…
“Should I throw away his toothbrush…?”
“Naw, I’m not going to throw it away, just in case…”
“Yeah, I should throw it away; it’s over between us…”
“Naw, He might come back…”
Today I threw away his toothbrush, this is the 3rd toothbrush of his I’ve thrown away. Each toothbrush representing a year of my life wasted on this man who didn’t love me the same way I loved him.
Today I threw away his toothbrush. I thought about all the fun times we had. The laughs, the tears, the break ups, and the make ups. The good and the bad. The sex. I use to smile more back then.
Today I threw away his toothbrush. In my mind and in my eyes he was a King. He was my King, my love, despite any of the outside circumstances. When we were together he was all I saw, all I knew. He was MY man.
Today I threw away his toothbrush. Now that I think about it wasn’t always bad. He wasn’t always cheating on her or me- depending on what time of the year we’re talking about. It must be nice to have 2 people on call whenever you need them.
Today I threw away his toothbrush. He loved me. I knew he did. I could tell by the way he would hold me, the way he would make love to me, and especially the way he would look at me. He would look at me like I was the only woman that mattered. In a room full of women, I was all he saw. Plus, he always came back.
Today I threw away his toothbrush. The last thing to go. It was easy to get rid of the other shit he left:
Thrown in a bag and taken to Goodwill.
I didn’t need any of this crap. I wore Suave he wore Unforgiveable. I used Listerine he used Colgate. I rocked a fro and he had a fade. I’m a woman, so I damn sure wasn’t going to wear his clothes. I didn’t have any other man to give them to even though I did keep a few of his shirts and shorts (nice lounging around the house clothes).
Today I threw away his toothbrush. I thought about all the times we had. The ups and the downs. I thought about the last 3 years of my life as I alternated between being the “other woman” and being the “main woman.” I thought about the love we shared. I thought about the times before when I threw away his toothbrush and how I promised myself it would NEVER happen again. Two toothbrushes later and I am doing it all over. But this is the last time. The last time because it will never happen again.
It will never happen again…
Today I threw away his toothbrush. Today I threw away his toothbrush and today is the day he finally called and said
“RyLeigh, I love you and only you. Baby, I’m sorry. Forgive me”
But I already threw away your toothbrush.
(This is one of my favorite creative nonfiction pieces. It represented a good portion of my life in my mid 20s. If you would like to read more. Check out the book by the same name at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00EBXUUR0)