THE TRUTH ABOUT SELF-LOVE

You’ve probably heard a ton of times, why it’s so important to have a whole lot of love for yourself, and you get tired of hearing it. Guess what? You’re not alone, I get tired too. But the truth is, it really is important. And the best part is that self-love is not impossible. A lot of times you’ve come across posts or videos telling you to love yourself, yes, it is difficult but achievable.

Why is self-love so important?

Self-love is the regard for your happiness, a love for your own self. For growth to happen, for you to be the best version of yourself, and for you to be truly happy,you need to love you.

A lot of posts you see tell you about rules of self-love, ways you can love yourself and a whole lot more, and honestly it is tasking and can be very difficult. But what no one ever told you about self-love is how difficult it can be to actually love you, which is weird itself because love is supposed to be something that comes naturally to us as humans, and even Nelson Mandela attests to it when he said in a quote, People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite.

ACCEPT YOUR BODY

A number of people, women, in particular, find it difficult to truly accept their own bodies. One of the luxuries we don’t have in life is the control over some things in our lives. You don’t get to choose who your parents would be, what gender you want to be or what challenges would come your way. So when we can’t change some things, we accept them and let things work itself out. Loving your body might seem a bit farfetched. So start by accepting you.

• The first step to accepting your body is to admit that you’re not special. Yes, darling, you are not special. There are many others who have similar bodies as you and are battling with loving their bodies, so you’re not alone. Many times we seek validation from others, wondering what they think about us, and you ask questions like “ am I good enough”. Reconcile with the fact that humans have unlimited wants so you really would never be good enough for some people. What you need to focus on is being good enough for you.

STOP CONDEMNING YOURSELF

• Stop condemning yourself. If you stay in front of the mirror and see all the faults, the big nose, the big stomach, wide eyes. You would never be beautiful in your own eyes, so own those flaws if that’s how you see them, and release yourself from all that burden. There was a time that people who had big foreheads were made fun of. Now everyone is rocking it. If someone calls you fat or too skinny, never let it get to you, the truth is everyone has preferences, and that’s okay. I hate chocolates, ( I think they’re gross) but that doesn’t make them less appealing to others.

DO THINGS THAT MAKE YOU HAPPY

• Start doing things for you, make your life all about you, don’t try to impress anyone, dedicate your life to yourself, do things that make you feel good about yourself. If you’re trying to get fit, do it for you, do it because it is what you want and not because you think it is what you’re expected to do. Give yourself a treat. I once took myself out and spoilt myself silly, not because I didn’t have anyone to go with, but because I wanted to spend the day with myself, buy presents for yourself because you deserve it. Selfcare shouldn’t just be on Sundays, take care of you every single day because you can.

When you love your body, you build your self-esteem,your mental strength and your confidence, you become the best version of yourself and you let go of all resentment you never knew you held for that body, you stop seeking validation, and you realise there is no standard for beauty. So be the highlight of your life, love and embrace your body, get comfortable in your own skin and watch you flourish in your new-found confidence because nothing beats self-love. And to be able to love someone else in a healthy way, you need to love yourself, because you really can’t pour from an empty cup.