The 50/50 Delusion!
Anthony Portillo

“Don’t just go all-in on love, Go all-in on life, and Go all-in on you!”

This was where the article totally fell apart. We don’t have infinite amounts of energy and time. If I’m going ‘all in’ on my relationship then I have nothing left for anything else. I have no friends, no hobbies, and I starve to death. I can’t do both at the same time. That’s just stupid.

This is fairy tale writing. We need to manage our energy - allocate our time smartly. Do everything we feel we can do for our partner, but not at the expense of self-destruction. We need to be the person we need to be, whilst striving to be the person they need us to be.

Love is always conditional. It should always be conditional. It has to be. It’s the only way love can function - with both partners trying their best to keep it alive. If you genuinely mean it when you say “I’ll love you forever, no matter what you do” then you’re an asshole. You’re giving this person license to abuse you. Even if they don’t want to abuse you, emotional entropy will force them to, and it will kill them.

We need to give our love. But we also need to stay on our path. This is why love is fucking hard. Running away from that fact will make you a weaker person.

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