With eyes as wide as saucers I stare at the beast. It growls at me, drool running over his sharp bared teeth and black lips. All I can think is “Fuck!” as the monster looks into me ravenously. The creature is huge, at least as tall as I. Its thick coat of fur does little to mask the bulky musculature rippling through its back and limbs. I imagine this will be one formidable foe, and I have nothing for weapons beyond the drink in my hand and clinched fists. We stare each other down, puffed up into the most menacing versions of ourselves. With blood vessel bursting intensity I glare into its eyes, hoping to intimidate my foe, and quash the impending onslaught before it begins. We stand puffed up, shaking, crazy eyed, baring teeth, growling, it goes on like this for what feels like hours.
I must have faltered for just a second, showed a hint of fear. I could see it in in his eyes. Failing to size up I knew an attack was imminent. So before he has a chance to press forward I decide to make a break for it. Dropping my drink I turn and run for a ledge behind me, praying for its protection. Before my container hits the ground, the colossal hound is already pressing toward me. I make an adrenaline fueled leap for safety. But the fiend is fast, and clamps its enormous jaws down on my backside. The creatures fangs sink deep, and it ferociously rips its head from side to side tearing at me.
My momentum carries me to safety, just not unscathed. I feel around my ass, a huge chunk is missing. I think “this cant be good”, then turn around to further assess the damage. Fluff is flying about the room, and a giant wad of my diaper is in the creatures mouth. The bastard is violently flinging my poor diaper bits everywhere! Even worse my bottle is lying on the ground, the milk slowly dripping to the floor. I would like to have it back but I’m sure as hell not going to risk it. I’ll wait atop the couch until the cocker spaniel tires of torturing me. So I can gather my bottle, the succulent milk inside, and get back to napping.