Preparing for Parenthood in 1,200 SF

A few months ago, I noticed a slight movement out of the corner of my eye on the herb planter on our balcony. I looked up and was greeted by a couple of finches perched guiltily on the railing.

Finches on the balcony collecting materials for their nest. Notice the guilty side-eye.

Notice in this photo the disheveled mess that is the coconut liner of the planter. At one time, the straw-like mat reached to the top rim of the planter, but weathering and yes, the finches, slowly wore it down until it barely contained the plants and soil. Just after I snapped this photo, the finches tore at the liner with their beaks, taking the fibers with them to build/repair their nest, probably located in one of these nearby trees. We all know that birds build nests, where they lay their eggs and care for their babies during their first weeks of life. As I’ve learned through my pregnancy journey, however, people nest too.

Nesting is but one of many phenomena stemming from our animal side that I have encountered during pregnancy. Along with pregnancy itself and all of the hormonal and physical changes that come with it, the desire to build a “nest” to prepare for the baby’s arrival has at times seemed beyond my control. Obviously, my husband and I don’t need to physically build a nest, but as first-time parents, we began this journey with nothing for a child — no crib, no diapers, no toys, no bottles or stroller or creams or clothes or sound machines or…you get it — Part of nesting successfully meant securing some of these items while also continuing to fit in our purposely limited space.

We bought our condo two years ago in a neighborhood we love. It’s about 1,200 SF, has two bedrooms, has huge windows that overlook a lively corner with residential and commercial uses, is walking distance from basically everything we need, has access to transit, and has been an all-around perfect fit for us. We knew when we bought it that it might not be our “forever home,” depending on what life had in store for us and our family, but we knew it would be a great first home for us to own as a married couple and that we could comfortably grow our family by one, maybe two small people before needing to move on. We also bought it knowing that it wouldn’t allow us to expand our stuff collection too much (a plus for us) — We don’t have a garage or storage unit (besides a communal bicycle storage room, thank goodness for that), so periodic cleaning and purging has been vital as we have settled in.

Celebrating our first day in the Tree House (August 2015)

We moved into the Tree House (as we affectionately call it) a week before my husband started graduate school; therefore, the second bedroom naturally became an office/guest room. Now, a shelf that will double as a changing table has replaced the desk and other shelves have moved to make space for a crib. As my belly grew and I could no longer fit into my normal clothes, they found their new home in spacesaver bags beneath the bed so maternity clothes could hang in our modest closet. A bassinet now sits where an old nightstand once stood, and documents have been organized and consolidated into filing boxes that can fit on a small shelf instead of being strewn across a desk. For us, nesting has meant making these preliminary changes before taking on the task of acquiring new items and has forced us to be somewhat intentional about what we need, what we don’t, and how we can maximize our space.

An “industry” focuses on parenthood, much like other life events in the United States. The baby industry would love for you to believe in your intimidated, terrified state of impending parenthood that you need ALL THE THINGS to keep your baby happy, healthy, and safe. It’s not so different from the wedding industry barraging you with all of the things you need in order to have the perfect day (which may or may not translate into the perfect marriage). It’s not so different than clothing, office supply, and home accessory stores teaming up to tell you what you need for back to school. I knew for the baby we would need some items, yes, but I was fairly sure that ALL THE THINGS weren’t as necessary as they seemed.

In my research to decipher what we might actually need, I found some wonderful products, like bathtubs, highchairs, and strollers, that collapse into tinier items, making for easier storage. I also found items like convertible car seats and cribs that magically morph from infant use to toddler use to account for a fast-growing child with ever-changing needs — score. I was also introduced into the expansive and impressive world of online parent exchanges and consignment sales — Why buy new when you can buy the same item, practically brand new, at a fraction of the price? Furthermore, these forums offer a great option for passing along items when you finish with them.

This research, coupled with advice from friends who had been there, done that in smaller spaces, helped me feel immeasurably better about our choices and confident in the items we chose for our child in our limited space. I’m hesitant to tell you what works and what doesn’t since our baby hasn’t arrived yet, but I do promise to follow up when that time comes — I basically just wanted to talk through our thought process in preparing for our baby’s arrival and how we are thriving in what some would consider a small space for a growing family. I guess I also wanted to call out the notion that having a child on the way means an automatic move to a large space in the suburbs — That works for some people, but not for all. I keep hearing about how Millennials will pick up and move to the suburbs as soon as they begin having kids, and yes, some will as this article published today states. But, many won’t, my Millennial husband and my Millennial self included. The fact that not all Millennials with families will choose to reside in cities (why would an entire generation do that anyway?) is not a reason to delay investment in family-friendly housing and infrastructure in cities.

Yes, we have nested, but in our own way. In our case, nesting has involved more paring down than gearing up, and I’m sure it will continue once the baby arrives and we see what works for us, what doesn’t, what we’re missing, and what we can do without. We are not true minimalists in the sense that we do have more material items than we need, and 1,200 SF is more than enough space to contain it. But, we’re trying to be conscious, and that’s step one.

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Johanna DeCotis Smith

Written by

Environmental Engineer, City Dweller, Urbanist, Bicycle Advocate, City Planning Nerd, Gardener, Soccer Fan, and Adventurer. All views are my own.

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