Respect you for your honesty. I feel you deserve honesty in return. Quite simply it is your fault, I wouldn’t want to sit next to you on a flight. Self pity and self indulgent blog posts aren’t going to help you. This whole, I don’t know how I could still be fat thing is common amongst low self esteem fat women. You’re eating too much and not moving enough. I really don’t intend this to sound mean. Good luck.