Sometimes it’s just better to be a voice on the phone

“ Hi, I was calling about the townhouse you have for rent, is it still available?”

Yes, it is

“Oh, good..um, can you tell me what is included with the rent, things like are water and garbage included?”

Well, water is included, but your gonna have to get your own cans, depending on how much garbage you have..how many is there of y’all?

Uh, well, there is my husband and I and our three kids..

They’re not teenagers, are they? I don’t rent to people with teenagers, they destroy the property and it’s just not good news

Oh no, no..my kids are 8,6, and 2 yrs old..they’re good kids..

Oh, okay..then where the townhouse is, it’s in a good neighborhood, good schools

Does the townhouse come with a washer/dryer, or do I need to rent one?

Naw, you ain’t gonna need to rent anything, comes with and there is a refrigerator, brand new one..you shouldn’t have any problems

You said the townhouse is near good schools?

Yeah, it’s in Sylvania Township..the kids could walk, but they would have to cross a busy street, so most kids take the bus..the bus picks the kids up across the street from the townhouse

Oh, well that’s good..

Yeah, it’s in a good location, you’re near the grocery stores and you aren’t far from the expressway..

Oh, okay..

And there’s parks, places to take the kids, there’s no crime in that part of town

Oh, crime? Is there a lot?

No, not where the townhouse is..there’s no spics or “n@&$%*rs” there..

Excuse me? There’s no what there?

You know those dirty Mexicans and the jigga-boos

I, uh, I um..okay..

I mean, there are those chinks, but they are pretty harmless

Oh, I see..

Yeah, you’ll be safe, the “n@&$%*rs” live in the downtown area, Sylvania is out in the suburbs

Okay..

Them Mexicans travel in packs, so make sure you go to places with your husband, don’t go around town alone..

Mmm hmm..

Did you want to come out here with your husband to take a look at it?

Well, let me talk to my husband, and I will get back to you..

Okay, you should always ask your husband for permission to do things, you know, they are the head of the household..you do go to church, don’t ya?

Oh yes, yes we do..

That’s good, we got a lot of them turban people here, too..they all walk around in damn sheets, they need to wear regular clothing like everybody else..

They got their own churches here, but they fucking look like Ali Baba palaces, what kind of a fucking church is that?

Oh, I don’t know, sir..

Well, you have my number, give it to your husband

Okay, well thank you for the info..

I hear the click at the end of the call, I slowly set the phone back on the receiver…

My husband, white..me, asian..

We are committed to live here for the next four years..

Damn job transfer…

Shit…