In Positive Idiocy, readers will be treated to Dennis’s distinctive commentary on aging, Texas, women on the golf course, the Irish, parenting, addiction, Charles Barkley, and, of course, every pro snowboarding and snowboarding situation you’d ever want to read about. He also graciously (or in some instances unforgivingly) answers his fans’ questions and passes on his unique and demented perspective. Don’t say you haven’t been warned…

Have you ever wondered where the weaknesses are in Shawn White’s spin technique? Or what would happen if there were more profesh guitar players? Or how Old James Hetfield would play if he came back from the depths of where ever tf he went? Or how you can raise the next Richard Nixon? (Actually, Dennis acknowledges he could give a small dog’s trousers about your kids; he has trouble enough with his cat.) Dennis explains how one can position oneself to caddie for a living. (Hint: The answer involves drugs, gambling, divorce, and a three-strike felony record.) And, of course, he dispenses the best advice for anyone new to the life of a hacker. (Hint: Proceed with caution here since this calls for a gun, $55,000, and a toothless, tattooed woman.)

Hilarious, perverse as ever, and totally uncensored, Dennis’s new collection is sure to put a smile on the grouchiest butthead in your family.