A Chronicle of App Dating : experience three
dating philosophy: [be honest with yourself, no expectations, enjoy the art of dating, you get out what you put in, expect the unexpected.]
After a few weeks of dating, I found myself really interested in first dates.
This wasn’t intentional but was something that I noted after going on a few follow up dates that weren’t terribly exciting.
I decided to embrace this and just enjoy the idea of spontaneous companionship.
Soon after, I matched with another Italian man on happn and we had a great initial conversation. He managed to be witty and charming via chat. Eventually he asked me to lunch (fondly known as brunch in SF) and we met at one of my favorite neighborhood spots.
The charisma continued into the date. He was very sweet and kind. Polite and attentive. We talked about politics, our careers, families, living in urban metropolises, and the strangeness of online dating.
I decided from the beginning that I had to be unabashedly honest on these dates and I shared with him that app dating allows me to tap into men that I’m interested in — perhaps in a way that would otherwise not be possible. He was really surprised when I told him about my trouble dating the type of men I’m interested in here in SF. Asserting that I was “absolutely stunning” and that he couldn’t understand why I was even single.
We stretched the date out as long as possible, sharing a dessert to finish the meal. After brunch we walked through my neighborhood to see a few historic sites.
He commented how nice SF was and how he was possibly going to move to the city for work while we observed some of my favorite views of the city.
He kissed me unexpectedly on my forehead and thanked me for showing him such beautiful places. We walked a bit more to where our paths would diverge. He said he had enjoyed our time together and that he hoped to see me in London soon.
Then he gave me two kisses, one on each cheek as Europeans do. And then one final kiss on the lips— probably one of the sweetest kisses anyone had ever given me. He smiled as he said goodbye.
In that moment I was unsure if I’d ever see him again, but I was okay with that. Actually I think I like that. I like the possibility of never seeing him again. The lowest expectation of all.
I realized maybe there’s something to the old school notion of courtship. Slowly getting to know someone and allowing feelings to develop and grow over time and distance.
I’ve thought about him a handful of times since we met. We exchanged contact information but we haven’t corresponded. And that’s okay with me.
Each of these dates, each of these experiences, allows me a short window into someone’s life. A brief time wherein which our lives converge. Allowing us both to engage with another human being and use that experience to inform our own lives.
I’ve been unexpectedly learning a lot about myself through these experiences. And with each new date I look forward to a new revelation, but maybe I’m getting ahead of myself as that is quite the expectation.