Mind Tornado 2: Sleep-deprived musings

disclaimer- no edit, except changing name to Boy..

Mtl dl5237 10am A53

Detroit airport at 6am. Connecting flight is at 10. The wifi here won’t work, I forgot my book in Utah, my friends are all asleep, and I have no American cash.. meaning I can’t even chill at a cafe like a regular person. I was unable to sleep on my red eye flight, so I’m logging 24 hours awake. At least Detroit airport is an architectural dream- the cafe/resto spaces, living walls, hopping flat fountain, express train, classy shops. I am certain I have flown through here before.. That fountain and its rhythms made an impression on me. I know how it will act before it does so. I must have watched it for a long time while dad sat drinking tea from illy here. Finally found an area with mini armchairs and a piano and music and trees facing the fountain that requires no money.

Can’t believe I fucked up so royally. What a time to be alone hahah. I would go for some self reflection time, however I’m not confident on my IQ or insight at the moment, after failing to solve riddles from TED.

None of the wife’s are working. I’m bonking. What would I do if I had wifi anyway. Too dumb to focus. Close my eyes and enjoy the fountain like that guy asleep on the floor beside me. Funny how well-off people at airports become bums. They obviously have money if they’re flying, yet they embrace bumdome so easily. They were crashed on cafe sofas and public armchairs before 6; but now that the restaurants are open and sleeping on their booths is not acceptable, they’re everywhere on the ground. Looks like a dozen homeless shelters were emptied into this posh utopia. How inappropriate.

Damn I’m hungry. Why did my 1am-6am flight not serve food? First class really let me down. They wouldn’t give me a g&t because I’m 20 and this is fuckin ‘murica. When they asked my age I wanted to lie but a) obviously I have a piece of ID handy they could refer to, and b) I was too dumb to pull off the lie. Holden caulfield I feel your pain.

All this Super Tuesday stuff is stupid and draining and on every tv screen I see. Yes, trump is gonna win more than is fathomable. But the election is SO FAR AWAY. Not to sound like a simple Canadian, but election stances are not that complex as to require this much thought and time. It’s quite narcissistic. Too much money to use in campaign so they have to drag it on and on like Boy’s dad rephrasing his basic views at the dinner table.

Thank god I’m out of that vacation at least. This airport situation is 100x better than witnessing another Boy-father conversation. Father is a jumped up obnoxious French prick. Boy is a naive, gentle, eager-to-impress (without means) child who believes his dad is god. Dad is admittedly smart enough to know child knows nothing. Interesting how often he brutally shuts down his son for being stupid, and it other times encourages it. It depends how the idiotic questions are phrased- if they ask for the fathers opinion (which promises the answer will be taken as gospel) then they are encouraged.

It’s so clear when Boy is trying to sound smart for his dad. He is so hesitant and reserved in his statements. His dad must know him better than I do, but I guess you can stand your own kids better than nonrelatives can

Some of my favourites:

“Truffles grow on trees and hurt them, so they are a virus” no Boy, they are a fucking fungus. Parasitic relationships do not equal virus (non living thing)

“How often is a leap year”

My favourite was when he dad was preaching about life expectancy and then mentioned pollution. Boy asks:

“So is life expectancy decreasing because of pollution levels? Such as co2 emissions.” I balked- life expectancy relies on so many variables it’s absurd. As if you reduce it to one simple causal relationship! Secondly- co2 emissions? Greenhouse gases “pollute” the atmosphere, but does he honestly think pollution affecting humans includes increased co2?! Most of what we breathe is co2! If that’s decreasing life expectancy then I suppose best thing to do is stop breathing. Lol. Must have been thinking of carbon C(s).

The best part is, he dad answered his question seriously! And pressed his agenda, like he always does.

They are also obsessed with organic whole foods. “Why is the omelet so good?” “Because the ingredients are all organic” they worship their food with phrases like “such pure spinach!”

His dad spent 62$ at whole foods on a mini grocery shop that would have cost me less than 20$ at segalls.

Best part is — the omelet story ! So this omelet that was 100% organic and nonGMO and green af.. Tasted wonderful because it was “so fresh and healthy and pure”. Then I go to wash the dishes and the father had used a red plastic spatula to cook the damn thing. On medium heat. What happens when u press soft malleable plastic against a hot frying pan? Let’s just say the tomato sauce in the omelet did not come from the farm fresh tomatoes uncut in the fridge. And the spatula was fucking gone. How did he not notice this? I announced what I discovered and the dad said- “everything in this house is shitty quality, the whole place is falling apart”. He blamed it on the spatula’s quality! I’m sure no plastic spatulas can handle frying pans. Wooden and metal ones do, however… And there were plenty of those available on the counter for him to use to make his goddam frittata.

Wow I just got wifi. I don’t even want it now I feel so good from all this writing. Killed a good hour as well.

Boy is too much of a sweetheart. It’s sickening. Not only did he cry to his dad after we broke up, but he then told me he did! Whyyyy. I’m never going out with a desperate inlove cuddle-loving brownnoser again.

The night before we broke up I had told him I booked a flight and was leaving early. The next day he started our conversation by saying -”I don’t know about you but I couldn’t sleep last night I was so shaken and sad about what you said”. And I had to poker face because honestly that night was the best sleep id ever had with him since he finally didn’t try to touch me or invade my side of the bed or complain that I was too distant all night.

My intelligent conversation with his dad after my philosophical musing. Most people would be interested in my epiphanies or at least willing to listen so I could bounce ideas off and clear my mind. But Father instead started preaching and telling me his shallow little story about talking with a shrink and uncovering old memories that make him cry. Not what I was talking about at all, which he would know if he took a chance to listen. And then he started giving me advice for how to cope and consoling me that I’m young and it’ll work out.

How does someone think they have so much knowledge to spread around when they don’t take any time to listen and gather it? Must be why he rephrases his elementary opinions over and over again. Such a shallow mind for someone so important. Who decides he is important anyway? And how much does that hold? I have lost a lot of respect for authority this week… Of which I started with very little

Oh my god. The guacamole incident. The perfect example of cook vs chef mentality. We had old avocados so I suggested we make guac. I went into the next room and when I came back boy was cutting up red onion. I got really excited and went into the fridge for other fun ingredients. Lime, tomato, cayenne, chipotle hot sauce, corn, etc it was exciting. I asked boy how he wanted to jazz it up and he said“I asked my dad, he said just put onion in it”. Dad was sitting on the couch involved in his ipad. I said “What no way lets spice it up”. Boy- “My dad has made it before and he just said onions”. Wtf, I experiment w guac all the time. Besides, as if you need experience! (Flashback to all the frustration we’ve had trying to cook/bake together. Boy loves following the recipe (ingredients, amounts, order, to the tee), can’t handle using creativity. Great trait for a future architect. I’ve never been able to cook proper“dishes” or do labs at school because I refuse to follow the recipe and prefer working from first principles. Try new things every time. ) So I retreat to bedroom. Then I hear boy give some to dad to try. Dad says, “why don’t you add some of that lemon?”. Boy- “I though u said not to”. Turns out dad had just offhandedly said to throw in some onion and boy took dads word as law. Again. Boy comes in to feed me some guac on a piece of toast- ripping off how Dispatch serves it, surprise eh. I ate NONE of that fucking guac. Goddam I was fuming.

Here’s another joke- Boy claims to be deeply in love with me. Biologically, this is impossible. He said he fell “more madly inlove” on my birthday, which happens to be the first day I kissed Boy2. Also, the plane ticket which served as a catalyst for our breakup was actually bought for me by Boy2. I like this switch-up rather than break-up deal. Maybe I’m becoming sociopathic again. Or just extremely narcissistic. Or sick of Boy’s weakness and unable to feel pity any longer.

The main way we broke up was me admitting that I didn’t feel the need to see him. I thought in the past that he was just a needy relationship type and I was more into independence in a relationship. But February was the best month of my life- and I rarely saw him. He’s so draining to my energy that it’s refreshing to never see him. He reasoned- “you’re not in love anymore”. I didn’t say anything and I think he wanted me to object, but the only objectionable part was the “anymore”. I was never in love with him, but I didnt think he needed to know that. See! I am a good person!