Be Better, Not Perfect

So first I want to say, if you’re into podcasts that talk about daily life struggles, lessons, and feel good moments check out the The Friend Zone. It is literally everything. Fran, Dustin, and Assante will have you laughing your butt off just as quickly as they will have you resonating with the lessons they learn from their life experiences.

And in the spirit of The Friend Zone I want to reflect on a segment from their September 6th episode — ‘Recovering Undercover Perfectionist’.

During the segment they talked about perfectionism getting in the way of one’s own excellence, how they’ve noticed it in their own lives and crafts, and what they try to do in order to overcome that. I wanted to reflect and expand on those points.

While some can argue that striving for perfection is admirable and even an ode to one’s commitment to mastering their craft, I see it from another perspective as well. It doesn’t matter what you’re working on or towards, trying to get it perfect is impossible. And because of that I see perfection as an obstacle not a guiding light.

In other words, perfection is the enemy of excellence

That’s a strong statement, I know. But sit with it for a second and think about why that might be the case. The definition of perfection is the condition, state, or quality of being free or as free as possible from all flaws or defects. But that end state of “perfect” is different depending on who’s looking at it, what it is, what it’s objective is. And in many instances what is “perfect” today can be seen as “flawed” tomorrow. The bar always moves. Therefore it’s something that can never be reached.

Don’t strive for perfection. Things don’t have to be perfect and they shouldn’t be. Being imperfect makes us human. It makes what we do relatable. And in that way it creates space for our work to manifest excellence. A feat accomplished knowing imperfections exist. Overcoming their stigma to create something impactful, even if just to ourselves. That is excellence.

The idea that something imperfect can be beautiful is not novel. But the concept is often buried under the weight of our own expectations when we are trying to create regardless of what we’re trying to create. And to be clear this isn’t just about writing, or art. Creating a better life, a better version of yourself, anything of value can be buried under the pressure of perfectionism. Don’t put that pressure on yourself.

Free yourself from that burden and allow yourself the freedom to create without judgement

Working on letting go of the weight of trying to be perfect, to everyone I care about in my life, in everything I value in life, has made my life so much lighter. And it’s created more space for me to move through life and feel good about it. I believe through that I am able to be better because I am not striving to be perfect. And I think that is how we have to frame anything we’re trying to create in our lives.

There is only trying to get better. There is no such thing as perfect. So don’t let the fear of getting it “wrong” the first time, or the first one hundred times, deter you from moving forward. Each effort is one more step to becoming better. Give yourself permission to do just that.