Pokemon Fight Club : The Introductions

The Pokemon. The lads. The Original Poke’z.

They want to be the very best, like no one ever was.
Every single (original 151) Pokemon put to the test…

Imagine, if you will, all the Pokemon are stood side by side. Their National Anthem blaring through the speakers (“oooo, you’re my best friend! In a world we must defennnnd..”). There are tears, streaming down little Jigglypuff’s face as the world awaits the next few weeks of “PokeAction”.

The music stops, and the draw begins…Each Pokemon taking it in turns to draw out a number which assigns him/her/it to a bracket. This bracket slowly filling up, each Pokemon drawn against another randomly.

The PokeBracket is complete. The matches drawn. Whoever drew against Charizard in round one is absolutely gutted!

A man called Ash randomly shouts “Pikachu, I choose you!” which confuses everyone (he is quickly escorted out of the arena).

Chaos everywhere, as the Pokemon prepare for battle…

Well imagine no more, as for the next few weeks will see each match play out, one at a time. This, is a fight to the death and there will be only ONE Pokemon leaving this competition alive — who will it be?

Ground Rules.

• No external weapons, only the Pokemon themselves and their given attacks & abilities. (This omitted 2 Pokemon before they began)
• Much like Tekken, there will be a 3 minute match length.
• There is an assumption that all Pokemon are fully capable on the pitch, this means that underwater pokemon “float” and can breathe normally.

Evolved Pokemon

• The most evolved version of Pokemon will participate (sorry Magikarp, not today!)
• They may not use any skills from the lesser evolved version of themselves.

The Pitch

• Let’s all just assume that these fights are taking place in a massive park, minus the pigeons (as this would give the upper hand to Pidgeot).
• No Pokemon are allowed to use the environment to their advantage.

How To Win

• The only way to win is to either, a) Kill your opponent or b) inflict more damage to the opponent within the 3 minutes.

Omission

There are 17 Pokemon who will not be participating, these are shown below:

Articuno (Who even are you?) — Omastar (You are literally a shell with wavy hands) — Persian (I mean come on, you’re a cat) — Raticate (Stupid hamster) — Seaking (you’re the king of nothing, you’re a tiny pointless fish) — Porygon (You sir, are not a real thing) — Dodrio (3 Pokemon in 1, disqualified) — Marowak (I said no weapons) — Primeape (Nobody is scared of an angry ball of hair) — Mageneton (See Dodrio & Electrode) — Electrode (I said no weapons and you literally ARE one) — Butterfree (I’ve done you a favour, mate) — Dewgong (I don’t want to see that innocent face being destroyed) — Ditto (This is NOT an audition for Flubber 2) — Farfetch’d (See Marowak) — Parasect (A tiny crab, you are pointless) — Dugtrio (3 angry hotdogs, disqualified)

The draw has taken place… The Pokemon are ready to go…Introducing below the round 1 match ups. There are 64 Pokemon taking part, this will whittle down to 32 over the next few days, after which another draw will take place and the remaining Pokemon will enter the last 32 Bracket. This will showcase the route each Pokemon must take to fight their way to victory.

Let the PokeBanter commence!

Round of 64

Jack A. Goodwin.