Jack GasperinMinistry of InformationPennsylvania Liquor Stores Now Accepting Orders by Carrier PigeonHARRISBURG, PA — After weeks of unrest and growing anxiety among a quarantined population, the Pennsylvania government has decided to join…Apr 20, 2020Apr 20, 2020
Jack GasperinMinistry of InformationMale Feminist Finally Weasels His Way into Woman’s KnickersBROOKLYN, NYC — In breaking news, according to all of Jennifer’s friends, one male feminist’s efforts to get touched may have finally paid…Mar 18, 2020Mar 18, 2020
Jack GasperinMinistry of InformationCVS Pharmacist Tells Everyone in Waiting Room that Woman’s Infected Vagina Cream Is ReadyWEST PHILADELPHIA — Reports from onlookers indicate that around 7 pm last night at the CVS pharmacy on Baltimore Avenue, Philadelphia the…Jul 12, 2019Jul 12, 2019
Jack GasperinMinistry of InformationWoman Who Insists on Being ‘One of the Guys’, Ruins Guys’ Night AgainARDMORE, PA — According to multiple witnesses present at Greg Bailey’s monthly poker game last evening, his wife Jill committed…Jul 11, 2019Jul 11, 2019
Jack GasperinMinistry of InformationHomophobic Feminist Criticizes the Male GaysPOMONA UNIVERSITY, CA — Last evening in the McKenzie Hall of Queer Studies, feminist activist Laura Mulvey presented a lecture titled…May 16, 20191May 16, 20191
Jack GasperinMinistry of InformationDementia Patient’s Autobiography Capitalizes on Unreliable Narrator TrendAs I turned the final page of “Forgetting to Remember: One Woman’s Tale of Mental Decay”, the latest and thank goodness last memoir from…Apr 17, 20191Apr 17, 20191
Jack GasperinMinistry of InformationDentist Commits Suicide to No One’s SurpriseTOLEDO, OH — Yesterday afternoon, longtime Toledo resident and dentist, Lance Brown, was discovered dead in his office from apparent…Apr 9, 2019Apr 9, 2019
Jack GasperinMinistry of InformationLocal Cow Bar Refuses to Serve HorsesOAK HILL, OHIO — Outrage erupted across social media last evening after a local cow bar refused to serve a rag of horses who entered the…Apr 4, 2019Apr 4, 2019
Jack GasperFinding a Safe Space on Campus… For My DickA Germaphobe’s Guide to Hooking UpDec 20, 2018Dec 20, 2018
Jack GasperinMinistry of InformationMan in Gym Shorts Loses Everything in PocketsVINELAND, NEW JERSEY — Late last evening, New Jersey native Jim Wynell irritated his friends and family after losing everything in his…Oct 25, 2018Oct 25, 2018