Ten Things I Would Like to Tell My Boss about Quitting Booze..
Ok, quick disclaimer, I do not have a Boss, I’m self-employed, but before you click away, I (we) do have investors in our small business, so you can insert ‘ anyone who influences the money flow into my household’ for Boss, if you like.
# 1. I am not feckless, a criminal, or untrustworthy…..
Anymore than anyone else in the population. While drinking may have lead to bad or embarrassing behaviour on my part, it does not mean that I am a bad person. It means that I had a very bad compulsion, I have recognised that, and daily, I make the commitment to overcome that compulsion.
# 2. If you want to ask me about it, go ahead, please don’t chat about me behind my back…
There’s enough stigma about ‘alcoholism’ or ‘sobriety’ out there already. Please don’t add to it. If you have questions, I’m glad to answer them honestly, but I do so in good faith. Good faith that you are not somehow going to hold this against me, when you are considering my next raise. Or next round of redundancies.
# 3. No, I can’t (and don’t want to) have “just one”
# 4. Yes, it would be nice to have a social gathering that isn’t centred around booze — for EVERYONE
Don’t organize a Christmas Party around me. I can handle going to the pub. But, wouldn’t it be nice to do something different? Or at least, could you maybe give Christmas gifts that are not bottles of wine. and while we’re at it…
# 5. Please don’t ask the most passive aggressive member of staff to organize the Secret Santa
Just sayin’. I don’t want to see her smirk when I get a bottle of vodka.
#6. No, I don’t need to hear that your uncle/cousin/nephew is /was a ‘really bad drunk’
Unfortunately, there seems to be two reactions to the news that I have/had a drinking problem — either people treat me like I suddenly contracted a really contagious disease, OR I get regaled with everyone’s drunk stories. My life (and my work) do not revolve around drinking/not drinking. Let’s talk about the project we’re working on.
# 7. Thank you, but no, I don’t need your advice — unless you’ve been through the same experience
I once was given the BEST advice of my life…..”only take advice from the people who have been where you are now”. This applies to just about every situation in life that I can think of. I know you mean well.
# 8. Yes, I am perfectly capable of performing my work duties/obligations
I am my harshest critic. i have gone over and over all my ‘failings”, my lack pf productivity, the times when I procrastinated, the times when I didn’t do the job to the best of my ability — even if you didn’t notice. I have catalogued every single incident — and I’m determined not to let that happen again. I may be the most dedicated, committed worker you have ever seen from now on…
# 9. No, my sobriety isn’t a “judgement” on anyone else’s drinking…
I chose to get sober. You can choose to get sober if you want to. if you think you have a problem, maybe you do. I didn’t get sober just to piss you off, i got sober to improve (save) my life. You can do the same. Or not — I can’t make that decision for you.
#10. OK, you got me, I do count how many drinks people are having.
I can’t help it. Most of the time I’m marveling at how little people seem to be drinking. I marvel at all the glasses left on the table with unfinished booze. I marvel that people say “Oh no, thanks, one’e enough for me”. I’m not counting because I’m trying to catch you out or anything, I am mostly in awe……
Originally published at www.sobersassylife.com on December 7, 2016.