not your boo thang || not my enemy

“Just keep smiling, baby. Can you smile for me?”
“Anything for my boo thang.”
“Coming back to the kitchen for more, huh?”
“I’ll make these baked goods extra good, just because I like you a whole lot.”
“Are you ticklish?”
“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable. But you really are a beautiful woman.”
“Boo thang! … What, you don’t remember your name anymore, boo thang?”
There’s a fine line between ignorance and justice called grace, which I’ve found nearly impossible to straddle.
I genuinely believe humankind is rooted in goodness, and that our experiences are often the primary reasons for whether the fruit we bear in our lives is good or bad.
But I’m not an idiot. I know our personal decisions play a major role in that as well. Sometimes I’d just rather give people the benefit of the doubt and camp out in the field of ignorance. This is for selfish reasons, mind you. Ignorance truly is bliss.
But what isn’t so blissful is when your safe haven of ignorance is bombarded with unwanted compliments, degredations and physical touch.
And what I feel women don’t understand is that staying put in that safe haven won’t save you.
When your safe haven is being attacked, it’s being destroyed, whether you like it or not, and you’re going down with it unless you step out and cross the line into justice.
I came out of my safe haven a couple weeks ago for the first time. I’ve always been one to choose ignorance, besides talking crap about perpetrators of injustice to trusted friends within our safe havens.
But a few weeks ago, I crossed the line. And I did it much later than I should have. I stood up to my adversaries as a bruised and battered soul, shaking and exhausted from their uninterrupted attacks. I put my foot down and gave them a thundering No—thankfully, in my specific situation, it was enough to bring a hault to their attacks.
I crawled back toward the debris of my safe haven and lay there as God, friends and family created a new one for me. It now straddles the line between ignorance and justice, and it’s much more durable than my previous dwelling.
I’ve realized that true grace is right at the border between ignorance and justice. The further you wander from the border, the more ignorant you are and the less genuine your grace is toward others. And justice without grace is just anger and vengence.
I think most of us live on one side or the other, but I’m convinced we’re all meant to dwell somewhere inbetween. Hopefully I can stay put now that I’ve learned, healed and resettled.
