I was so put together

When you met me.

Then I fell apart.

Because of you

At least

partly because of you.

And you couldn’t take it

So you left

And sure it might be coincidence

it came shortly after

you lost the right to fuck me

Once you realized

That you would have to earn my trust

all over again.

You don’t remember what you said that night

you told me you loved me

between clenched fists

and blurred sobs

and the wrong name.

And then you tell me I let people

use me

hurt me.

Maybe the last time I said no

he didn’t listen.

You can’t seem to find beauty

in the broken

anyways.

You only like me when I’m alive

How dare you

wish for me to be a healthy human being

When I cannot change my scars

Only cover them with art and beauty

and ingenuity that comes only

when you have hurt so much inside

it burns a hole in your brain

It leaves you mortified.

and even though I have mastered the art

of bouncing back

of pretending that everything is alright

you made me empty again for a moment

And you got tired

of waiting

for me

to emerge from my fort of pillows

to smile when you deem

enthusiasm be appropriate.

because my emptiness burns a hole in you too

and you are not strong enough

to handle my kind of pain.

You are not strong enough

to handle all of me.