Dear Newly Identified Autistic,
I heard you just discovered you’re autistic! Welcome to the clluuuuubbbb.
Okay, before I shower you with excitement, how are you doing? How do you feel about it?
When I found out, I was in disbelief for a while. I had so many old stories about autism in my head that I thought there was just no way that could be me.
Furthermore, I had spent a lifetime suppressing my feelings and thoughts. Feeling like I was too much, too dramatic, too sensitive… and at the same time not enough.
So part of me also wondered, “Am I just being dramatic again? Is being autistic just another way for me to get attention?”
But the more I learned, the more true it felt. I love reading, so I read book after book.
It also helped that I work with autistic clients in my art therapy practice. I saw myself in them so much. They have no idea how much they helped me.
So anyways, all of that to say, whatever you are feeling, it’s fine. You don’t have to force yourself into feeling any certain way.
If you’re not excited to be autistic, that’s fine too. I went through a grieving period when I learned I’m autistic. Truthfully, I guess I’m still grieving in some ways. I wish it was easier. I wish I didn’t think or feel so much. It’s been hard to let…
