Hating Cooking as an Autistic Adult

I’ve always hated cooking. Everything about it.

• The selection of a meal. There are so many options, it’s overwhelming… and do I have those ingredients and those special pans and and and …
• Going to the store to get the necessary ingredients. Will I be able to find them? Will they be the right brand? Am I getting the right amount? Will they be fresh enough or good enough or whatever enough? Will I forget something? Will it be freezing in there? And why does it always take me two hours?
• Then making everything. Did I measure it right? Am I cutting it correctly? Recipes being hard to follow. Not fully understanding the directions. Do I have the right size pot? Not knowing how to make it fit to the peculiarities to my own kitchen — like an oven that gets hotter than it says. Then there’s also the sensory issues… I don’t like water on my hands. I don’t like the splattering of oil. I hate setting off the smoke detector.
• And then the pressure of it all turning out ok. If it’s just me eating it, fine, whatever, I’m proud I made it and that is good enough. The idea of then having no idea how it will go for other people… that’s just overwhelming.

“Cooking” Colored Pencil by Jackie Schuld

I’ve always known I disliked these things. I’ve voiced them throughout my childhood and was chided for being “dramatic” or “overly sensitive.” As an…