My Ex Lost More Than I Did
For the longest time I was obsessed with my ex understanding me.
Even after we broke up, I just wanted him to understand how wrong he was about me. I wanted him to see me for who I truly am.
I was filled with rage about it. And of course heartbreak.
I cried for months after we broke up. It was my choice to break up, and yet it was still so painful that someone knew the depths of my soul and still saw me so negatively.
All of my energy went there.
Even after I finally cut off all communication with him, I was still angry about how he treated me and saw me.
I wanted him to see how awful he was.
I wanted him to own his behaviors as manipulative, coercive, and destructive.
But I knew he would never see them that way. He always saw himself as helping and that justified everything. He saw his views as correct and that he was just bringing light to others. He flicked on the lights even if someone was peacefully sleeping in the dark.
It’s hard when you’ve been wronged and the other person doesn’t even see their behavior as wrong.
However, my rage has been dissipating.
As I come to understand myself more and more.
